Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I WILL BE HAPPY IN MY NEXT LIFE IS DEFINATELY MY CATCH PHRASE.I HOPE THEY PUT IT ON MY HEAD STONE..THE BOTTLE OF PILLS IN FRONT OF ME LOOK BETTER AND BETTER ALL THE TIME.I ALWAYS TOLD MYSELF I HAVE TO STICK AROUND FOR MY KIDS BUT ITS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER.....I HAVE BEEN THROUGH ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER THE PAST FEWS YEARS AND I THINK I HAVE BEEN HANDELING MY LIFE FALLING APART PRETTY WELL.BUT YOU SEE I HAVE AN ASSHOLE HUSBAND AND A MARRIAGE THAT WAS A JOKE FROM THE BEGINNING.I FEEL I HAVE WASTED MANY YEARS...HE IS A MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING EXCEPT HANG OUT WITH HIS BUDDIES AND PARTY.HE IS MISERABLE EVERYDAY...FROM THE MINUTE HE OPENS HIS EYES UNTIL HE PASSES OUT HE IS NASTY AND CRUEL TO ME AND THE KIDS.IN THE PAST BEFORE DEPPRESSION TOOK OVER I STOOD UP TO HIM AND GAVE IT RIGHT BACK.NOW I JUST DONT HAVE IT IN ME ANYMORE. I HAVE LOST MY INCOME AND THE ABILITY TO WORK MUCH,MY VECHICLE WAS REPOED AND EVERYTHING IS BUILDING UP TO BLOW SOON.I WANT HIM OUT OF OUR LIVES BUT HE WONT GO AND I HAVE NO PLACE TO GO WITH NO MONEY,FOUR KIDS AND A HOUSE FULL OF PETS....I CAN ONLY HOPE FOR HIM TO DIE EVERY NIGHT IN HIS SLEEP SO I CAN FINALLY BE FREE AND MY FAMILY FIND SOME PEACE AND HAPPINESS.HE IS NOT THANKFUL FOR ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE.HE SAYS HE HATES THE LAZY KIDS ,CANT STAND ALL THE PETS AND I AM A LAZY BITCH.....I JUST CANT HANDLE MUCH MORE.....
if you need someone to talk to i'm here.......I hope you can get outa that one way or another. Love Faith
All I can tell you is "I HAVE TO STICK AROUND FOR MY KIDS". Read that to yourself. Isn't it SOOOO true? Of course it is.
I know you are exhausted, but there are steps you can take .. and each one would take you and your children towards a better life. There are women here on DS who have overcome just what you are up against .. and more. There are ways to direct your life to a MUCH better cirsumstance.
Rather than let him take any more of your life from you, you can .. with no risk, actually plan a strategy to get out of this vise.
First, I want you to read the following link, particularly about PRIVACY:
http://dailystrength.org/groups/new-to-ds
Then .. so that you will have what you deserve, ... and your children deserve, you can plan a strategy to get them and yourself out and away. THAT is the course to take because there is huge reward in the end. Suicide is not the solution .. it leaves behind devastation to people you love. Furthermore, it is not necessary.
You are still quite young, and so are your children. They deserve a good life and are not to be left behind under the charge of this man.
Yes, hard stuff ahead,.. you must cope for now, but you can be free and clear within a year if you commit to getting out.
Talk to people in the marriage/divorce/abuse groups. They will give you advice and tips on how to get yourself and kids out of this situation. It can be done. Many have done it.
Yes, nothing will change QUICKLY, .. it will take time to make a plan, set up a support system, and "do the deed", but you can do it. There are tons of women's groups and organizations to help you get out of an abusive or neglectful situation. Fight back and pursue what awaits you .. the life you should have been having for the last many years ... comfort, security, peace, and tranquility. You are deserving of all this and it can be obtained, . you simply must make a plan, then do it. Don't go down without a good fight. You can liberate.
Your children know that Dad is an asshole & children are very resilient - they will be fine with you taking care of the time - certainly not the best situation for them with him around but it is what it is for now because you say you have no way out at the moment.
There is hope for a better future; hang on to that hope & take baby steps to make that happen.
Hugs xx
You will either have to deal with the status quo, or you will have to figure out how to get away from him. It might take completely starting over, whether it be from a shelter or friends or family's places.
If others know of your situation, maybe someone is willing to help.
But nothing will change if you do not take some sort of action. It will be/is scary, but better than going on like this, yes?
good luck and peace to you and your children.