Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members
160,807 Posts
2 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

i want to stop

Anna1212
Anna1212

called in sick again.  no sick leave leave left due to all the leave i've used to help mom.  can't handle this anymore.  can't sleep.  cat very ill again.  i am likely going to lose the job that i have been doing for 27 years due to the time/stress/work involved in helping mom. this is bad. i am already in bad debt.  i need sleep.  i need to just sleep forever.  thatwould be the best thing.  my little cat is not well at all.  i should try to take her in today but the vets here are grossly incompetent.  they have killed three of my other cats through negligence.  i think the best thing would be to let her be and take care of her at home like i have been... this is heartbreaking to me.  i want to die rather than watch her die.  i have lost so many pets.  my mother doesn't even seem to care that i am about to lose my job.  she is completely needy.  i have to go lie down.  i feel really ill.  my blood pressure a few days when i took her to emergency was 183 over 103.  i don't care.  i want this to end.  i don't deserve to lose my job after all these years of hard hard work.  i will lose my medical benfefits as well as paycheck and then be out in the street.  my mother has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and she emailed my sister to see if she could take her and she hasn't responded.  i have taken my mom to the doctor 7 times since she has been here she has been here two months, half emergency visits where i missed several days of work.  my sister even though  asked has taken her in not once even though she lives nearby. i need not to think.  i need to try to sleep for awhile. my life is being dismantled.  please say a prayer for my cat.  thank you.

Tired
Tired
You need to start taking care of yourself. Talk to a therapist. Call department of aging and social services. Ask for help. Maybe mom can go to nursing home.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
You can realize that SOME things are larger than you are, and it sounds to me like Mom needs more than you can deliver. It is clear from your post that you are 'out gunned', overloaded, losing ground, and headed for a wall ... and you are close to it. If it is not too late, try to salvage your job .... from what you post, IT HAS to come first. Without it, you lose damn near EVERYTHING ... including housing Mom. Saving that job has to take priority over all else.
sharaninmd
sharaninmd
It sounds like taking care of your Mom has put you in a position you no longer should be in. If your sister is unwilling to share with half of your Mom's care, you may need to consider getting outside help or placing her in a home. As WonderingVet mentioned, you need to put yourself first and make keeping your job your first priority so that you can provide for yourself and help with your Mom if needed. You also should consider seeing a professional so you can get some help for yourself and get healthy again. I know it is very difficult to place a parent in a home, but, you need to consider what taking care of her has done to you. Your health and job are being jeopardized. Sorry to hear about your cat. Hope she will heal soon. Things won't get better for you unless you make some changes. Take care.
invisablefriend
invisablefriend
Email your boss and request a family emergency leave of absent.
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Well if you don't have a job or medical benefits, then you can't take care of yourself, much less your mom. Your mom may have to miss an appointment, because you need to be at work. perhaps your mom could take an Uber or Medical Transport (if they have that in your area) to her Dr.'s appt.

You guys (siblings) need to have a sit down meeting, and soon, to discuss all of this stuff. You have a full time job and it is not feasible for you to be responsible to everything to do with your mom. y'all may have to discuss moving her to a retirement village or nursing home if the Sibs refuse to help, because you cannot do it completely on your own.
Anna1212
Anna1212
thanks so much everybody! I appreciate the support. I took my little wild cat to the vet today and she got some fluids. she is hanging in there. I have another appointment with her later in the week. my mom wrote my sister again tonight since she hasn't heard back and that made me feel really good, and she just asked her again if she could help with the appointment tomorrow. I hope she can. I am planning to go to work tomorrow and hope bosses will continue to be understanding. they have actually been really good so far but I've been missing a lot of work so that could change. and I will look into outside support as soon as I can. that's a good idea about getting her medical transportation to appointments and stuff. and sitting down with my sibs is a good idea, though one is out of the country but maybe we could do some kind of conference call. I think this would be hard considering strained relationships but it should be done. or maybe we could email and cc each other or whatever... thank you all for helping me figure this out and offering support. I agree that taking care of mom basically on my own is turning out to be too much for me. thank you all again!
Anna1212
Anna1212
thanks so much everybody! I appreciate the support. I took my little wild cat to the vet today and she got some fluids. she is hanging in there. I have another appointment with her later in the week. my mom wrote my sister again tonight since she hasn't heard back and that made me feel really good, and she just asked her again if she could help with the appointment tomorrow. I hope she can. I am planning to go to work tomorrow and hope bosses will continue to be understanding. they have actually been really good so far but I've been missing a lot of work so that could change. and I will look into outside support as soon as I can. that's a good idea about getting her medical transportation to appointments and stuff. and sitting down with my sibs is a good idea, though one is out of the country but maybe we could do some kind of conference call. I think this would be hard considering strained relationships but it should be done. or maybe we could email and cc each other or whatever... thank you all for helping me figure this out and offering support. I agree that taking care of mom basically on my own is turning out to be too much for me. thank you all again!
Jvaughn725
Jvaughn725
Call a ride service to take your mother to a doctor appointment. Depending on where she lives she may be able to call hospital or direct care workers and have them paid for if shes unable to drive depending on her situation. Taking care of yourself is #1 and if your siblings are not willing to help you help her then you need to make it clear to them what your situation is. You shouldnt and dont have to do it alone. There are tons of peoe out there that have dealt with what you go thru me being one in a certain way. I worked thirds, have no able family or friends able to care for my child while im at work and had to call in multiple times and racked up absences. Strive for excellence show your employer you who you were years ago to prove you need the job so they wont think your just going to keep calling in. If you need to talk im a great listener.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • billwfriend

    Smoker on Weber Kettle today

    Posted by: billwfriend
    Last Reply: Tired
    1
    And its already been noted by the weather service as heat advisory today thru Wed here.I have a rack of St. Louis Cut Pork Ribs. I will use a charcoal snake method of two rows on bottom shingled around about 3/4 of way on outside of the grill. Then on top of those I will shingle a single layer of briquetted same around 3/4 of grill. Adding some chunks of wood every 3-4 inches around the grill.I...
  • TES9579

    Dog Days Of Sunday Smiles - 8/9/2026

    Posted by: TES9579
    Last Reply: Tired
    3
    Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!