Sometimes I feel like I am constantly fighting to just feel ok. I wake up and look around and immediately my brain get flooded with thoughts of how much I screw up and how I don't clean enough or cook well enough or look good enough etc. etc. and I just want to crawl back under the covers and not think.

I just want to be happy again, I remember for the year before I lost my baby I was so happy for the first time ever, I had a job with friends that I enjoyed and an internship doing my dream job and I also had college, my relationship was in a great place, I had my first home and hopes for a great future with my baby, but since then everything fell apart and I feel like I am struggling to get back to a happy place in my life. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to put in so much effort to just be ok. I should be happy, I have great opportunities that others don't and I have a chance to finish schools and have a real career as well as a good relationship, but sometimes I feel dead inside like whatever part of me used to enjoy parties and friends is barely there anymore. Some days I just feel like this all must be a nightmare.

I'm not really looking for advice, I just want to know if anyone else knows what I'm talking about. Is anyone else feeling the same lately? Tell me your story, maybe I won't feel so alone.