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My brother is really abusive and he hits me and screams at me. When I left the house on christmas my mother called me and started telling me to "get back there right now." He was in the middle of another one of his rages. I didn't listen to the message until today. My counselor is out of town and people from my support group were listening to the message with me. They were saying not to wait until my counselor gets back on Jan. 12th. I don't understand how, but one of the ppl in the group named all of my friends and characterized the relationship that I had with them, and she is not even on my facebook. She said, "I am literally following you." What the hell does that mean? Literally? She said that I should be calling my friends, but I have lost a lot of friends by involving them in this disastrous situation. A lot of the reason that this horrific relationship has perpetuated is because my mom is forcing it. But I don't care about what she feels thinks or wants anymore. My counselor told me a long time ago that I should terminate my relationship with them, and I am ready to do that. I want nothing to do with them anymore. I don't love them anymore, I don't care about them anymore. How do you possibly communicate to someone and make them understand, if they don't currently, the truth that it's all over.
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Good. Then do it. They don't need to 'understand'. Do it and if they won't leave you alone, get a restraining order.
If your Brother assaults you again, call the police. There are verbal assaults and there are physical assaults. Here are some CALIFORNIA laws to help explain:
http://www.courts.ca.gov/1258.htm
I guess it means she is literally ... LITERALLY following you, .. which COULD be a case for stalking. Problem is in 'making the case'. Not sure what to do about this. If you have evidence, I suppose you file a police report (for stalking).
And regarding the mother, any court judge would probably deem her an unfit mother if she was brought into court over CPS charges. I think she is going to need therapy as well, but considering that she is the only guardian that I am aware of, she won't solve those problems overnight, and thus the state would have to get involved, and that really won't be a win win for anyone either.
The main thing is, you shouldn't let yourself be abused anymore, life is not worth getting beat up on, emotionally, or physically. You have to do what is right for you, think on this, and decide as you will.
Thanks for the reply. I'm far beyond being a juvenile or under 18. But it is still a threatening situation. He doesn't seem to care, age notwithstanding, and seems to have no limits on how much or how far he would go in hurting someone. He has hit his girlfriends too. I rent a house a couple of blocks away...from my mother of all people. My salary is not the highest, so an apartment was always pretty expensive on top of everything else. But I need to figure it out. Yeah it is a bad situation and turning to my friends is not going to be helpful because they just get overwhelmed and don't know what to think. My coach did call me today and gave me some pointers; he is going to help me. I need to eliminate this bad influence from my life before I plan on doing anything else. It is the most essential thing.
orion
As for your mother, wow, she is as bad as he is, but in a different way.
I agree with people here; break free from your mother and brother. If you choose to give a reason or a parting comment keep it simple. Something like 'brother has no right to hit me, or anybody else, like that.'
As for your friends, it is really hard for people to see somebody they care for staying in an abusive relationship. If (or hopefully when) you leave your brother and mother, do let you friends know, and thank them for their support. You may be amazed at how they warm back up to you!
And please do consider filing charges against your brother and getting a restraining order.
as for your friends what good does it do to involve them in this? Just keep those family things to yourself around the friends so they do not become ex friends....
U DONT DESERVE IT...............
DRENA B
;-O