I am very sorry you're suffering so badly. What is going on?

By all means, can you give us more to go on? That way people can share their relevant experiences.

Gentle hugs

Ditto. I like the people here. They don't push. In fact, it's comfortable and honest.

I went out yesterday (the day i posted this) and it was fun. When i got home everything changed to the worse. i started feeling down and lonely. I have crisis very often and you really don't know how much it hurts to just cry your heart out in the middle of the night having no one to help you and feeling a heavy weight on your chest. Sometimes it feels as if there's a fire inside. It's painful. i don't know how to explain but you just feel tons of pain inside , not in a spesific place , probably it's unreal. But i just feel it..

Hi, rebellious_souls. I am sorry that this happened to you yesterday. No one should have to go through pain such as that which you are describing, and I hope today is a better day for you. I can't say I know exactly what the pain you are going through is like, but I do know what it's like to have your voice go unheard and ignored when you are asking, even screaming for help. I apologize if this comes off wrong - I have a tendency to elucidate my thoughts in a weird way - but please know that if you need anyone to talk to, I will listen to all you have to say and respond (or, if you would prefer, just listen) to the best of my abilities. Feel free to reach out to me at any time, and remember, there are people that are here for you. I hope I can help, and that you have a good day today. :)

The best way to help you is to show I understand, and then make a recommendation. You are living a 'closeted' life. What is going on at home alone is something hidden in a closet ... only known to you and it is hurting you ... intensely. There, ... I understand. You MUST seek counseling. It is the first step in solving this/these problem/problems. It is the first step in letting it OUT. Step one must happen before step 2 can. Once the sequence begins, you are on your way to resolution. TAKE THAT FIRST STEP.

There ... is the recommendation.

high or drunk or smth (whatever that is) compound the problems. HUGE mistake. They have NEVER solved anything. NEVER ... for ANYONE. Medical treatment has done 99% of solving the problem you describe ... for MILLIONS of people. Aim for the target ... and you will hit it. Fire into the air, and you will NEVER HIT the target ... you will hit something else ... in this case, something TRAGIC. Illicit Drugs and alcohol use ... never solved anything.

Good advice above. sounds like your physical symptoms may be tied to mental/emotional issues. I am continuing with therapy, and it helps. Taking the step is a sign of strength, not weakness. You know something is wrong and need help in finding out exactly what it is and what to do about it. You will do better with help. Keep in touch. you can also check a site like webmd.com for info about anxiety and depression. Talk to your doctor if you think you need help with medication.

Since i can't reach professional help and i technically have lost everyone i used to talk to , i guess getting high or drunk will do fine getting my mind distracted. It's the only way i can remain numb and careless for a while. Because sometimes i just can't sit there and suffer. Pain is a very destructive weapon and i start fearing my own mind. Yes. Sometimes i leave the house because i'm too afraid of what will i be doing to myself..

You could make an appointment with your doctor and ask for a referral to a good therapist from him or her. If you are planning to hurt yourself and can't wait, go to the nearest ER.

I don't have the guts anymore to tell anyone about what's going on inside my head .. I am afraid of therapy as much as i am afraid of pain.

Believe me, I understand what you are talking about. You wouldn't be able to tell me anything that surprises me. I have been through a lot and went many years without talking to anyone either. It is very, very hard to do. But you can do it, and you are the only one that can do it. You have the power to set yourself free by getting help. If you want to talk more privately, talk to me separately as a friend.

Therapy can be a great help, but we only get out of it what we are willing to put into it.

Are you afraid that if you talk too much in therapy they will have you sent to a hospital or something?

No it's not like that.. It's just a fear of talking to anyone in the first place. The few people i explained my mental situation for in the past had the worst reactions. So i guess it kind of stuck with me. I know a therapist isn't ANYONE , i mean they're like trained and professional and stuff and they won't do horrible reactions instead they'll try to help me through. I know all of that. But i need someone to push me into a doctor's office. i can't do it by my own.

If you're at home with your parents for now, ask one of them to take you. That is a step that takes guts. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're determined to go forward and do better.

.you have some good advice in here ........there isent much I haven't Hurd ......so if you want to talk ..you can mesage me I will lisen and answer you .....it might make it easer for you to be able to talk to a counclor if you talk to others in here ..first ......but you still need to take that step of getting all the help you can get and that means ..medical help ............if you were sick in any other way any place else in your body ...you would be going to the doctore ...this is realy no diferant ...mentaily illness ...is simply that an illness that needes reat ment by ..profecunals ......and in here this is a good place for you to get help because you can be understood and not judged ...............I am here to suport .......I have had depreshion all my life .....and ....now I don't feel depressed ......but I have also ..went out and got the help I needed even going into the hospital when. Needed to ........we are now weak ...I belive we need to be very strong people to go through the amount of mential pain we go through ........I will keep you in n my prayers .........that you will find help in here ..you need and ..than be able to out and get all the help you can get ............take care ...