Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My mother has OCD - which means that when I stay at her house for any length of time, meaning overnight, she follows me around, checking on everything that I might have the chance to touch. It is hard and it brings me back to my childhood, which was very hard.
She practically begs me to visit her, then when I'm there, she drives me crazy. It's no accident that I moved 250 miles away.
So, when I haven't stayed there in a while I kind of forget what it is like to stay there. On Columbus day weekend, which was a 4 day weenend for my girl from school, I took a trip south and stayed at her house for 3 nights, then at my daughter's house or one night.
I was extremely glad to get home after that. Despite the fact that I hate my life here, where I cannot find a job (because there are no jobs here) and I cannot seem to find a way to make a living and the house is falling apart around me.
I cannot even seem to make friends up here. I've never had many friends, but having a job was an important social factor for me because not having many friends, I don't get to talk to many people after working hours, so when I had a job, I at least got to have some companionship during the day.
I'm missing that now. Now it is just me and my brother and the girl, and she's 9.
To top it all off, I've had to apply for assistance in order to survive. They are putting me through the "Aspire" program, which is supposed to help me to establish my own business so that I can support myself, but in effect is only putting pressure on me because I am not succeeding very well.
I feel like the walls are closing in on me now that summer is over. I'm going to have to find a way to pay for heat soon, and I have no idea how to do that. The smallest things seem to send me into a days long depression where I feel like I'm going to shake apart.
I can't move forward feeling like this. I cannot accomplish anything feeling like this. I can't concentrate on the smallest thing, and give up if there is any problems. I feel totally useless; like a complete loser.
She practically begs me to visit her, then when I'm there, she drives me crazy. It's no accident that I moved 250 miles away.
So, when I haven't stayed there in a while I kind of forget what it is like to stay there. On Columbus day weekend, which was a 4 day weenend for my girl from school, I took a trip south and stayed at her house for 3 nights, then at my daughter's house or one night.
I was extremely glad to get home after that. Despite the fact that I hate my life here, where I cannot find a job (because there are no jobs here) and I cannot seem to find a way to make a living and the house is falling apart around me.
I cannot even seem to make friends up here. I've never had many friends, but having a job was an important social factor for me because not having many friends, I don't get to talk to many people after working hours, so when I had a job, I at least got to have some companionship during the day.
I'm missing that now. Now it is just me and my brother and the girl, and she's 9.
To top it all off, I've had to apply for assistance in order to survive. They are putting me through the "Aspire" program, which is supposed to help me to establish my own business so that I can support myself, but in effect is only putting pressure on me because I am not succeeding very well.
I feel like the walls are closing in on me now that summer is over. I'm going to have to find a way to pay for heat soon, and I have no idea how to do that. The smallest things seem to send me into a days long depression where I feel like I'm going to shake apart.
I can't move forward feeling like this. I cannot accomplish anything feeling like this. I can't concentrate on the smallest thing, and give up if there is any problems. I feel totally useless; like a complete loser.
you are not useless, not a loser - you see, a loser wouldn't even care about any of these things. you, on the other hand, really do want to succeed, and it sounds like the fear of failure may be holding you back.
keep trying - things will not stay this way forever. think of your little girl and her needs and let that help you move forward. come here and vent anytime you need - it helps for many of us.
don't give up! you have support here.