Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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red47640 09/10/2018

For the past several weeks, I have really, really, honest-to-God tried to become comfortable in my new job position. It's a very specialized position in the pharmacy, where we deal with patients and try to find out what meds they're taking (because 95% of the time they sure as hell don't know). I've tried meditating, I've tried different types of organization methods, and I really made a serious effort to get the most out of my training. But I couldn't do it. I'm always so burnt out from work that every time I go home, I practically drive off the road, or hit another car. That's how exhausted I am. I had nightmares about work last night. I talked to my boss last week and today-- he says that the pharmacists all say my work is good quality. He asked if there was any way I could get more comfortable with the position. But after today, when I came in at 0600 only to have twelve admits already being moved upstairs, with a subsequent increase in ER admits and tons of phone calls I needed to make, I was certain that, if this was how the job was going to be, things would not work out. The problem is, all the other pharmacy tech positions there are filled. My boss and the lead tech are going to try and find some options for me at some of the associated hospitals, but there's obviously no guarantee. I could end up without a job. And that terrifies me. At the same time though, I don't want to hate my job. I don't want to get into a car accident. They had very good things to say about me-- that I'm a team player, that I know the drugs, that I have a really strong work ethic... The hospital I've been working at is the only hospital in the metro area that has this position; having never worked in hospital pharmacy ever, I had no idea what this position was going to be like. There was no way for me to know whether or not it would be a good fit without trying it. And again, I seriously tried. Now I feel like a huge disappointment. I feel like this is yet another mistake I made. All I can say is that I gave it my absolute best shot.

momenttaker 09/10/2018

Good shot, And you know tried and tried your best but it didn't work out for you, even though it did them. You have successfully discovered that you can do it, do it well, and that this isn't what you want to do. I doubt you are required to vacate that seat prior to another spot opening up.

. If nothing else, perhaps you can suggest switching positions with an existing pharmacy tech? Since you'd technically be vacating a space, someone would have to fill it = and that would leave a space where they were at. Just a thought, I don't know how your HR actually works.

red47640 09/10/2018

Unfortunately, although I'm not required to vacate, they need someone to fill that spot ASAP, and since I can't handle the stress of the position, that puts me in an awkward situation. This position is a specialized one, and most techs there don't want to do it as a result. So unfortunately, I need a new job. Like I said, they are looking for another position that would be better for me that's still within the hospital system. If worse comes to worse, I can always see if my old job wants me back. If not, then I'm screwed.

Greenteam 09/11/2018

I am not fully aware of the low points of the job. What I'm hearing is that it is causing you some serious issues. It's obvious the job is not for you. Putting yourself under that kind of pressure is not healthy for you. We all have bills and financial obligations and trying to balance a level of success between work and stability. I'm not an expert, but it sounds like you have a valuable and marketable skill. Perhaps take a step back in your job field and sort of start over? The other thing is when you imply that you are screwed. I'm not saying that your personal financial stability isn't important. It is very much so, but in your over all picture where does it fit? You know what your capable of so I'm hoping you can position yourself in a job situation that fits you. I agree having a job that you don't like is torture. Having to attend it when you Dred it. I feel for you. Admitting you made a mistake is admirable. Some people can't do that. The thing about mistakes is how you turn your mistake around and make it a success. I made a mistake at work and although I have not been dismissed I have to do administrative work while the matter is being investigated. It really sucks! I experience anxiety going to work everyday then I have to convince myself that I am lucky to be working at all. I'm getting about half my normal hours. Financially I believe I'll be all right. The hours I accumulate now I get paid for in a month. My point is that maybe you take another look at your over all situation. Hopefully it will take away some of that anxiety your feeling. Best regards and good luck.

sonnycamehome 09/11/2018

There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying something new, and finding out it wasn't a good fit. It actually takes a lot of courage to challenge yourself and try a completely new job. You are definitely not a disappointment!

Wishing you all the best as you look for something more tailored to your skills.

red47640 09/11/2018

Thanks sonny, thanks everyone... I just hope I find something soon...

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