Hello Foresaken. I am glad that you decided to join Dailystrength. I am so sorry that you feel dead inside. I know how exhausting and painful it can be to hide behide many different masks with none of them matching your true idenity. Why do you think that you aren't desirable? You seem lovely to me. I hope that you get to feeling better soon. I am here if you ever want to talk.

Ill be your friend if you like. You're not alone. There are lots of people who are long here so you don't have to worry

I feel undesirable because I have been told so many times that I am the man everyone wants but is never ready to have. After hearing it repeatedly for as many years as I have, I just gave up on ever finding happiness for myself.

Sorry your feeling so alone Foresaken. I wear a mask too when out in public and its a painful way to live. Only intensifies the feeling of loneliness. I feel very disconnected to society sometimes and find it scary. Everyone on their phones - texting, making calls. I barely get any calls much less texts. I hope you know you're not alone in your feelings - and that you've come to the right place. DS is full of supportive and caring people. Tell us more about you!

So sorry for the pain you carry. It sounds so hard and I am sure it leaves you depleted at the end of the day. We all wear masks on the outside, we all hide, we all carry some degree of insecurity. Life has a lot of stresses and we are not always sure how to respond. It can leave us feeling empty. Life is filled with many people who provide hope and comfort and love, people who you may be able to connect with. Consider talking to a counselor or looking into a support group; your local library can probably point you to resources in your area. You can speak to your doctor as well and ask for some resources. You are not alone! Maybe you want to change your online name from "forsaken" to a name that reflects HOW you want to feel...and each day, just take one small step to moving closer to that. Be kind to yourself. You are a person and you are special and there is a plan that is good for you. Give yourself a chance. You can already see that those who are responding to you are offering hope and goodness. I wish you peace and a path of healing and restoration to who you want to be. Do not give up on YOU!

I have been to counselling and spoken with my doctor on several occasions. I have taken the medications (and had no luck), I've been through the support groups and found nothing there to easy what I am dealing with. They are good ideas, but they just didn't work for me.

I've been through the Drs. and meds too. I too wear the masks of a desired, happy person. I've tried the friend route so many times I have abandonment issues. I don't have any words of wisdom. I wish I did. Guess I wanted to let you know you are not alone. Hugs.

Most of the time too, I also feel like I'm dead inside, I don't know if it's because I'm just use to it now but it's almost reassuring, calming almost.
How many counselors have you seen? I think I'm on my 8th, out of them all I found maybe 3 really good and that helped, while the others would make me feel worse or little to no actual help. Sending hugs your way.

In my life I have seen so many of them I have lost track. I guess the state I am in has been there since I was a child....... really as far back as I can remember. It makes me feel better to know that I am not alone, but still gloomy because it seems I am fated to be this way. I don't really have attachment issues. It's hard for me to have those when I feel I can't be attached to anyone.

"the man everyone wants but isn't ready to have" - what does that even mean? What a WEIRD thing to say to a person. Truly weird.

If the girls don't like you there's something wrong with what you're doing. That's the bottom line. And when you are willing to go to that place, it's clear the next question is:

so.... what should I change?

What do you need to fix? Do you spit when you talk? Do you look desperate? Do your eyebrows quiver and your voice falter? What is going on that you are doing?

Now I know lots of young men will start in on 'well I shouldn't have to change to be desirable people should love me as I am' and that's all very pretty and sweet and belongs on a facebook meme - it's just that it's not working.

Do you want the girls? That's the question. Put yourself on video. Watch videos of yourself a LOT and you will pick up what you're doing wrong. Then it's just a matter of fixing it.

You're not saying anything I haven't told myself over and over. "It has to be me....there is something wrong with me!"

I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me. Yes that is a truly weird thing to say to someone, but it gets said non the less. Doesn't make it any easier to hear when it is said.

Watch videos of myself? I cannot bring myself to do that. I see that as narcissistic and am too humble for that. I just accept reality of I am alone and that's the way it is.

well that's silly.

Watch videos of yourself. If you can't bring yourself to do that: that's the hump you have to get over. Why?

because you'll see yourself as others see you.

you'll see one of two things: a person who is too intense or something - and you'll realise the tiny thing you need to fix;
or a person who's entirely normal. And if you see that person, you'll have someone in your head as a frame of reference.

Because you perceive yourself as undesirable doesn't mean you are. That's already your first binary choice: is what I think true, or not true?

Find it out. Find it out straight away. Knowledge is power.

Or just give up and start calling yourself foreveralone. Whichever you think has got the biggest bang for its buck.

Hello and welcome to the site.. I am sorry that you see yourself as undesirable/dead inside. Those are two very negative statements and it pains me that you don't see if that way. When you wake up try having an attitude of gratitude. Tell yourself the words "I can't" are not in your thoughts If you practice this regularly, you may find that good things start to happen.

I would look into groups who are feeling the same as you. If you saw lots of counselor's and as you put it "company lines that counselors give" it may be time to find a new one. That is if you think you could get something out of it.

Not to be nosy but if you saw counselors, than you were diagnosed with What? Just depression? There are so many meds out there that you can take to balance your serotonin levels,etc. May take a while to find the right one. I would suggest just getting 2 wks worth 1st just to see if the Rx works for you.

People on DS will help you, counsel you and truly care. Keep coming back and posting whatever you are going through, good or bad. Positive is the best.

xoxoxoxox

Hello Friend,

Thank you for trusting us enough to make yourself vulnerable. You're brave. You're honest. You're not alone. I used to suffer from deep depression and used to believe that I too was forsaken, even by those who claimed to love me most. It took time for me to learn that I didn't know what it was like to be unconditionally loved, so I too put on a mask. I don't know what caused you to feel forsaken, but I do know there is hope for you. Hope that there is a purpose to your life. Hope that there is a plan for your life. Hope that there is a future laid out for you. When we experience trials and tribulations, those really deep, dark, seemingly bottomless pits, it's hard to know where to turn. So we put on a mask. I want you to know, that you have taken the first step towards healing from whatever and whoever has caused you pain. You've cried out. You were heard. Keep pushing through, one baby step at a time. We're here to support you!