I am scared to turn my computer and TV off and go to bed. I know that as soon as the distractions are gone my head will be flooded with painful thoughts. All I will be able to think about is how much I hate myself and how fat and ugly I am. I don't want to deal with this depression anymore. Want to be pretty and thin. I want to look in the mirror and be happy. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what else to do. I hate being on drugs. I hate being dependent on therapy. Why can't I just be normal? Seriously? Why do we all have to deal with these awful mental disorders? What the hell is the point anymore. damn it. I'm upset and angry and sad. Everyday I wake up and think "oh shit this again."
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