just reach out a little hun. it will happen. just let it happen.. you can be somewhat isolated here and still have some friends. you are not a joke. everyone has a purpose... just extend some kindness and it will come back tenfold.... xxxx

I feel the same way sometimes. Not so much online as in real life. Pushing people away. Feeling awkward and not understanding how other people make it look so easy.

Some of it, I know, can be taught with assertiveness training. I can't say I have any great answers because I suffer with it myself.

No one is a joke. Some of us are less fluent among people then others.

I was trying to talk about relationships like boyfriend/girlfriend...But I guess its meant for online too. Sorry I don't make any sense

Internet "relationships" often times appear to be sincere, when in actuality many are not. It is easy to sit behind a computer screen and appear genuine. I have seen some incredible resentment, manipulation, selfishness, and misleading intentions from more than a few people here. A sincere relationship is not forced and it is not one-sided. When there is a mutual feeling of respect and fulfillment, then it will develop naturally and in a healthy way. Be positive and honest.....here and in real life. A great relationship might soon develop.

I get where you're coming from, Friend.

I can only say that I'm lucky. My wife stays with me through my worst. I always try to let her know how important she is to me, although I sometimes do something otherwise.

One thing that is very important for us is specifying when something is important. She likes to plan things out loud, and we refer to those as 'Carpet Moments' (stolen from 'Carpe Jugulum', thanks Mr. Pratchett). Then, she'll turn to me and tell me to pay attention, because it is now important. I give her my full attention.

I do the same for her. I don't see her as much as I would like (different work schedules), so I like to share what I'm reading. Sometimes, it just a Carpet Moment. If I feel that it's really important, again, I impress upon her that this is important.

There is that time when I feel open and vulnerable. I'm lucky, she has never made me regret doing it. I hope this helps.

Got to drop the isolation bag. Not hard to just drop in a line or two. Nobody here who answers a post will fail to know what you are talking about. Sometimes sharing is a hugely courageous act. Like this one of yours, for instance. YOu have reached,and some of us reach back. That's how this hummer works!

Haven't had a relationship for over 2 years because of this. I know I will hurt the other person and it wouldn't be fair to anyone else and really couldn't do it to someone I'd like... but that's probably not good advice.

I do think in part you can't love someone until you love yourself is true...

Sorry, that's rubbish advice and I'm just scared.... that's all.

Be brave, faint heart never won fair maid and all that!

Good luck!

I've felt this way a lot in my life. But once you reach out and try to have a relationship with another person, it gets easier. You realize that there is actually someone in the world that will accept you. Someone that doesn't think you're a complete freak. It's nice to be loved.

I feel the same way you do but at the same time people like BaiShan show it's possible. If deep down, you want a relationship (which I think you do) then it's a case of just being patient. I'm in my mid-forties now and still single but I don't worry about it too much. When the right person comes along who really likes you or me, we'll know it.

i get like that sometimes.
your not alone.

hugs

Relationships are hard for me too. I mean the bf/gf type. I push them away. I think it has something to do with being hurt before. I cut the relationship before they have a chance to hurt me.

Oh and one ps. whilst I keep myself to myself for depression issues.

I do believe in love, I believe when you find love the person will accept you flaws and all.

Honestly I find imperfects, so so much more attractive than perfections. In my experience they make the person in general more interesting, empathetic, funnier and just nicer (in general).

Your last sentance, is simply not true. I have never been in a place where I have been able to unconsicously not think that my relationships fundamentally must be because the person is having a joke or bourne of sympathy.

I have never been able to believe anyone would love me because I hate myself.

I can see rationally that this is depression talking and people that have gone out with have told me the opposite to what I believe, that I am not ugly, fat or a monster inside and that the love me for who I am. Making my brain believe this is whole different story.

I am sure this is the case for you to, it sounds to me like depression talking and that is such a warped view of reality.

I really hope that you can find someone who loves you, my biggest hope is that one of these people is yourself.

Take care.

No one is a joke or an annoyance... we all are God's precious ones ...
Don't think of a relationship as a b/f or g/f types, think of developing a relationship as a mere friendship and if that person is the chosen one for you then nobody can stop that from happening (not even your insecurity due to which you push a person away)
Take it lightly, give time to yourself and the other person as well (you never know maybe the other person also has the insecurity like you), don't expect too much.
Good Luck

i think i messed up to sometimes for wanting to try. not just anybody will do for me. I love myself. seems to me it is always nice in the beginning so im not hoping for prince charming and a fairy tale ending. that i threw out the window last month. i dont want to make the same mistakes. i do want to try and have alittle fun or i will go out of my mind with my alone time. girlfriends are ok but alot of them married.

looks help. youre pretty. itll work out for you. you can have quiet time too. you dont always have to entertain or be there. most people arent... dating sucks cause the decisions and wanting. helps if you like to flirt, are a romantic, or love sex. you dont have to be all of them, but try to be one. cause a woman who makes a guy feel good about himself, or seems devoted and loving, or just makes the guy feel good, will always be wanted.