I understand that the pain goes away, but please remember that it is only for a limited time. Those memories and that pain never fully goes away until you seek the help you crave. I am so sorry for everything you have gone through. I know my sorries are not that comforting, but I hope they serve as a reminder that people care. My parents are alcoholics and went through some of the things that you did. In the end it only made them violent and did not help them at all. Please, try to seek a healthier way to cope.

i call BS,,, Really you dont know the f*** your talking about.. alcohol is as bad as the worst drugs,, it has killed more people then world war two did. and it a solution an idiot would use. hell if your old enough to get into your mother booze stash , im sure you could find a free counselor ,, look what it done to her great example huh? how about others in your life, your mothers out of it so much she doesnt even know your drinking her booze this is all messed up. but its not about getting help now is it? its about you and your buddy having a good old time drinking and rotting your brains away, soon you will be totally worthless and cant do a thing but drink all day and at that point you cant stop if you wanted to.

@AnnieToman
That’s charming, Your response just makes me want to avoid help especially if everyone acts like you just did. I’ve come to this site to seek the help I need not to get a lecture of how I suck.

Yep, you have been through a living hell. I've shockingly been through A LOT of what you have described.. and here I am in my 20's still drinking. I get it. Fuck your fucking dad. Anyone who abuses a kid like that deserves to fucking die. Sorry.. but seriously. He had no right to screw with you like that. Noone has the right to abuse you. How old are you? I feel so bad. I want to kick your families ass.

@AnnieToman, you are one of the worst abusive internet trolls I have seen. I highly suggest you seek inpatient treatment immediately.

The sole fact that you would treat a kid being honest and seeking help that way shows that you have some serious issues.

Putting down anyone like that is wrong, let alone someone who is traumatized.

So so so sorry. If you are under age, you are young and have seen way too much pain for a young person. You need love and support. Perhaps you can start with your guidance counselor at school and ask about seeing a therapist who can help you with all that you are dealing with. Alcohol may help numb you and even make you feel better for a time, but it doesn't make the problems go away or even help them. You deserve so much better. You deserve good things and your body deserves to be treated well. If you can talk through the pain and the hurt, you will begin to heal. You will find strength to make better choices especially since you seem to not want to be doing this. If you belong to a church, you can also talk with the pastor. There are also a lot of support groups around. You are important! Let people love and care for you right now. You are not stuck. You do not need to stay like this, there are ways out. You can even consider seeing your pediatrician or doctor and asking for some help and resources. Believe in yourself and know that you are worth it. You will be close in my heart and prayers.

You can and need to seek help. With all you've been through we are so glad you are here. Most all here have shared in support and some ideas. Please keep posting and know you do have resources to help. You are loved and now is the time to pursue help with a clear head. I think you already know self medicating will only continue a downhill cycle.