...to severe depression.

I was in this place about 3 years ago after my finance dumped me and married someone else. At the time, I didn't have a job, didn't have many friends, didn't have family but had a wonderful home and superb dog. Slowly, things got better. I went back to school and finished a degree. Moved to a nearly city where I hoped to do better -- more jobs, more diverse population, more to do, etc.

I did find a job but it was horrible -- resigned after a year. Finding another at my age (59) isn't easy--just got rejected for another 2 jobs.

I made a poor housing choice. I live in a place that is very noisy (traffic and neighbors), so I can never feel calm and relaxed iin my home. I'm relunctant to get a new place before getting a job. I no longer have my dog (she became old and ill), but, again, don't want to get another until I know where I'll be living.

Everything is competitive in my new city: jobs, housing, even psychiatrists (Several I called, even a city health facility, are not taking new patients)

I have nothing. I have never been married, have no family and have lived most of my life as I am now: depressed, isolated, ashamed. In the past I could always come up with a plan, somethng to change, to do differently. Today all I can see is a life wasted, with no hope of it getting better.

I sort of know that the hopelessness is depression. But reviewing the realities of my life...well, it comes up shit. I have nothing.

When you talk to professionals, you're always asked "Are you in danger of hurting yourself?" I am not in danger of hurting myself, but I certainly understand those who are.

Thank you for listening. I so appreciate groups like this one.