I'm honestly starting to believe that maybe I do need to be hospitalized. I feel like I can't do this alot. I'm so tired of trying to be strong. I just want to scream, really loudly and hope that my life doesn't completely end in the next couple of weeks.

I have no experience of DID, as far as I know it's a way the mind copes with things.It's something your therapist will help you through. Hugs hun

I no longer have a therapist. He told me he couldn't help me anymore.... :(

aww I am so sorry. I think that it is time to try to seek medical help. You need a break from things as well. It really sounds like you need to take a break from school and just give your mind time to heal with the help of a psychiatrist or maybe hospitalization could be helpful. Big Hugs!!

I just found the support group for it, and its such a relief knowing that I am NOT the only one who is struggling with this. Thanks to you both for your replies.

Congratulations on quitting smoking ! That's a MAJOR Accomplishment :-) :-)

Honey, you are NOT alone. So many people are suffering.

What do YOU think about being hospitalized ?? Do you think it would be a good thing? Are you in any danger of harming yourself???

It would make my mom leave me alone. And maybe it would help. She wants me on antidepressants. And honestly, I have thoughts of hurting myself, but I started to use rubber bands to help control it. Then my days got worse.

How can I tell my mom that I think its time to move out? I love her, but this isn't helping me anymore. I don't have anywhere to go if I move out now. I don't know....so much stuff is going on. OMG! I hate this....

Sweetheart,

I understand that you want to move out and begin living on your own.
That's normal at your age. But you have to have a place to go to. You have to have a way to support yourself and all that.

My daughter couldn't wait to move out. (She was just 18) but after 5 years on her own, she lost her job and is now living back home again.

How is the relationship between you and your mom ?

Up until I told her about Ree, Blu and Sai (the alters), we had an awesome relationship. Now everything has turned to shit. I can't have a thought to myself. She analyzes everything I do. I feel like I can't control my life anymore. She asked me yesterday why I wasn't controlling my alters. But I had been until she started making a big deal about it, and talking about them forces them to come out. She doesn't listen when I say I don't want to talk about something. Plus the fact that my bf has it too scares her. I don't know what the fuck to do.

Sweetie,

I am a mom......So I can relate to what your mom may be feeling.

When we moms get scared, we mess up :-) I know I do. I want to jump in and "rescue" my kid. And there are times when I realize that I made a situation WORSE!!!!! But I didn't mean to.

I t sounds like your mom is really scared for you. And she may be messing up all over the place because she has no idea how to help you. She is probably so afraid of making things worse.........
BUT, she can't just do nothing.

Well. I understand that. She wants to make sure I'm okay, but I'm handling it just fine....at the most part. And if I'm not, or when one of them wants out, I try my hardest to keep them in until I can no longer handle it. I've lost control 3 times in the last year. The last one being on 11/5 when I found out one of my friends committed suicide. Like I said, this system may not be perfect, but its working. I love my mom, but she really isn't helping. She's totally making it worse.

Plus taking me away from my boyfriend, who I KNOW can handle this far better than I can isn't a good thing. I feel like she is making me choose between him and her. And I WON'T do it.

I agree with you.......She shouldn't be interfering with you and your boyfriend. You are an adult, she has to accept your choices.

Are you and your BF planning on getting a place together??

Yes, with one of my friends in the next couple of months, we are.

It's hard for people (especially people who love you) to accept that we behave differently. Try and see it from her point of view. Because you have these problems it's probably easier for you to accept that she cannot understand rather than her understanding what you're going through. Once you move out you'll prove to her that you can cope. She's really scared for you

Maybe you could get a new therapist who could work with both you and your mom on how to handle this. Hope it all works out for you.