I`m so depressed I found a way to tolerate it. I drink enough beer with my meds to sleep 48hours 3 times a week. Since monday I spent 3 hours with my mom and dad. I felt loved and happy. No one on earth loves me. I had one dream where Jesus gave be a big hug and I never felt so much love in my life. It`s like when I`m awake I`m in hell. When I am a sleep I`m in heaven. I wish I could go to sleep and stay there. Maybe I can find a doctor like Michael Jacksons. A little diprivan,valium,xanax.clonapin.halcion,dalmane and oxycontin. I can sleep and be happy.
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