Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I guess I do not know what to do. I only have my boyfriend for support and he has anxiety, depression, struggles to work, etc. I have trouble getting along with many people. I always try to be nice, but feel people always push me around. I am terrified to get a job. I have not had one in many years. My boyfriend's nephew came over a few days ago looking for money. He is a drug addict. My boyfriend said No. He was mad. The next day our cat was dead 3/4 of a mile from our house. I have no proof, but why when my cat never went more than 1 block away from the 4 acres is it now dead. I do not want to think this way! Please anyone that has any coping skills for me I would greatly appreciate it. My insurance will not cover therapy, S.O.S!!
I think your boyfriend has to stand up to the nephew somehow. I think you need to get a gentle, quiet job somewhere, somehow. So that you can regain some kind of power.
When you say you have trouble getting along with people, what does that mean? What happens? I have learned a skill when I was working in an orchard, when I had severe, severe anxiety and depression, of finding a way to let them push me around without me taking it on board. And that was to say to myself that I was in a weakened state now due to my own personal damage and I didn't have the spare fight to argue with them, so I would make the strategic decision to take their shit; but that it didn't define who I was in general. And if they didn't know who I was, that was their problem. So long as I got my wages, that was what I required from them.
So I saw myself as 'in disguise' for the time being. This was my humility phase, where I would learn to be humble, learn to let go of my own opinion, learn to be a 'good servant' - like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. That stuff.
When you willingly allow this, it changes fundamentally how you feel about yourself doing it. It becomes entertainment. It's amazing. So anyway maybe you can get a job somewhere, and go through your feet washing phase, as part of grounding yourself and building a good personal foundation that will stand you in good stead as people give you better and better jobs. Much better to do a humble job, well and with grace; and be invited to rise to higher roles, than it is to struggle with feelings of shame and humiliation at your abasement by others, give out 'not happy' vibes and never get offered to rise.
So get out there and get that job, and promise yourself that you will serve and obey, no matter what they say, and if they tell you the sky is black, agree; and if they tell you it's purple with orange polkadots agree... for $x per hour it's their sky to describe as they wish.
when you can do this you can do anything. :D
I lived in terror. But getting and keeping a job was part of what helped me. It gave me money, and it gave me another place to be in. And also in the workplace, if you do a good job and always smile and always show up no matter what hell anyone puts you through, you can earn a reputation even against your workmates' will, that nobody can take from you. And I was in a town where nobody knew me, so I had come with no reputation, and the evil MIL was badmouthing me everywhere. After a few years of hell they all ended up making up their own mind about me, and it wasn't as bad as it had started out. And that's when I could start to come out from under.