Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
GOD....AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS CRAP LIFE CAN I TAKE!!!!!!!
my glasses broke on or around July 1...i went to the eye clinic and the first available appt they had was for today...at 9:30...
been wearing my 4 year old contacts which seriously irritate my eyes...didn't wear them today...
so amid all my depression and gloom and doom...i forced myself to get up this morning...shower...get dressed...and catch the bus down to the eyeclinic!!!...
with anxiety and frustration levels rising due to the presence of too many people and kids...and disrespectful tweens who seem to think EVERYONE wants to listen to whatever the hell they are listening to...I sat and waited...they finally called me...did the preliminary exams and took my blood pressure...wait...my blood pressure...oh I didn't know they were going to check that...of course it was sky high...it's been sky high for the last month...considering i don't take my medicine like I am supposed to!!!!
SO!...they tell me its a little high and to go wait in the waiting area for the dr to call me...so I do...and the dr calls me...she asks me some typical vision questions...then does a quick cover one eye and read the letter test...I can't see...so she lets me take the test with both eyes uncovered...still can't see...have to squint...anyway...she steps out to talk to her attending...and then they both come in and tell me that unfortunately, they can't see me today for my glasses because my blood pressure is too high!!!!...so I have to make an appt to see my regular doctor, work on getting my blood pressure under control (which these days I can't control anything) and THEN they can see me to replace my glasses...SO...what do I do...NOTHING...just go and make an appt to see my doctor...for NEXT WEEK...and then I have to go fasting so I can get my LABS done...and I just don't know!!!!...left the clinic and just came home...more depressed and frustrated and feeling stupid again...I know I should take my meds but I just don't ...even now, I am sitting here writing this instead of just taking the damn things...UGH!!! ...I'm starting to wonder ...why won't I take my meds...I want to get better...but I don't want to take my meds...maybe I just don't want to admit that I need them...I don't know...I'm just gonna go to sleep...since it's raining and rain just depresses me further...
GLOOM...DESPAIR...AGONY on ME!!!! DEEP DARK DEPRESSION ESCESSIVE MISERY!!!!
my glasses broke on or around July 1...i went to the eye clinic and the first available appt they had was for today...at 9:30...
been wearing my 4 year old contacts which seriously irritate my eyes...didn't wear them today...
so amid all my depression and gloom and doom...i forced myself to get up this morning...shower...get dressed...and catch the bus down to the eyeclinic!!!...
with anxiety and frustration levels rising due to the presence of too many people and kids...and disrespectful tweens who seem to think EVERYONE wants to listen to whatever the hell they are listening to...I sat and waited...they finally called me...did the preliminary exams and took my blood pressure...wait...my blood pressure...oh I didn't know they were going to check that...of course it was sky high...it's been sky high for the last month...considering i don't take my medicine like I am supposed to!!!!
SO!...they tell me its a little high and to go wait in the waiting area for the dr to call me...so I do...and the dr calls me...she asks me some typical vision questions...then does a quick cover one eye and read the letter test...I can't see...so she lets me take the test with both eyes uncovered...still can't see...have to squint...anyway...she steps out to talk to her attending...and then they both come in and tell me that unfortunately, they can't see me today for my glasses because my blood pressure is too high!!!!...so I have to make an appt to see my regular doctor, work on getting my blood pressure under control (which these days I can't control anything) and THEN they can see me to replace my glasses...SO...what do I do...NOTHING...just go and make an appt to see my doctor...for NEXT WEEK...and then I have to go fasting so I can get my LABS done...and I just don't know!!!!...left the clinic and just came home...more depressed and frustrated and feeling stupid again...I know I should take my meds but I just don't ...even now, I am sitting here writing this instead of just taking the damn things...UGH!!! ...I'm starting to wonder ...why won't I take my meds...I want to get better...but I don't want to take my meds...maybe I just don't want to admit that I need them...I don't know...I'm just gonna go to sleep...since it's raining and rain just depresses me further...
GLOOM...DESPAIR...AGONY on ME!!!! DEEP DARK DEPRESSION ESCESSIVE MISERY!!!!
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A tree outside where I live is dying, seemingly from dog urine----with the bully in my building going out his way to not only have his dog urinate there but to have the dog urinate on the fence and sign I bought to try save the tree----and then slide the sign under my apt door.Turns out that was a TRIGGER for me----bullying and humialtion right out of high school. I didn't realize it at the...
i just got a letter a few hours ago of my family doctor having joined some other medical group---which no doubt means a higher bill for me next week, when i go for my exam for 6 months of blood pressure pills.
if this new bunch says i should come in every 3 months, or charges me some outragous amount for an exam---i am very proud to say i'm gonna stiff them for the new bill, and find a cheaper dr, though i realize its good luck with that.
from your other posts, it seems like a lot of your problems stem from the people around you. NO EXIT---a play by sarte, has hell not as the devil and fire, but of being eternally stuck around annoying people.
maybe just changing your black blank avatar to something more upbeat can be a step in right direction.
you are what you eat, which also goes for what avatars you decide on.
I have no reason to be so effing depressed...compared to all the stuff y'all have been through...I've been through quite a bit with a soon to be 20 year old son (he's a pretty good kid, though)...wife to a life long addict who until last month had never ever laid a hand on me...and a 94 year old mother...but it's nothing that I haven't done to myself...I guess maybe I should stop complaining...and take care of myself for the rest of this year, I still don't know...but I do know this...
BLACK is my favorite color...and if you knew the childhood I had you would probably understand it...but it really is..I don't see black the way most people do...to me black, and darkness is beautiful...it's not evil, bad luck, or a sign of depression...although I do sometimes feel like I'm in a long dark bottomless pit...that is not what my avatar signifies...I honestly do gravitate toward black...black clothes...black vehicles...black dishes...because I really do like the color black...I grew up listening to country music...and Johnny Cash's song the Man in Black is basically my anthem...Listen to the words to that song and you'll understand why I consider myself the woMan in Black!!!!!!
Here's a link...hope it works!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY8_vZXo8oY&list=PLB4086A2224D916E8&index=4
Nowadays, on the other side of depression, I look back and see many things I did that I did not want to do. I just did them. Over and over.
And I got through. You Always Have Other Options. Always.
I do agree on the medications though...I mean, if your blood pressure's so high that the eye doctor won't see you, it sounds very necessary...
And totally get you on the black thing...I also thought that it was a 'black pit of despair' type of avi, but now that you explained it, I totally get it. Oh and LOVE Johnny Cash and that song in particular!!!
I really, really do hope that you can keep this attitude and fight off the demons...you have nothing to lose but the crappy feelings, right? Wishing u peace :)
I am going to continue to take my meds at least till i go to my next Drs appt next week...and probably after that...so I can get some new glasses...still don't know what i am going to do about the money$ but I'll just have to figure something out!!!...
Thanks for everything guys!