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I hurt to many people

teddybear973
teddybear973
I have realized today that I am toxic to many people in my life. I have a friend who has just told me that he is in love with me and will wait for me because I am married and miserable. I do not want him to wait for me, but he says that he can not find anyone to "measure up to me" I feel as if I should just go crawl in a hole and leave everyone else alone so that I don't hurt anyone. I have another friend who I have known for 12 years and he has about the same feelings. I have not done anything that I know of to have this happen but I am sure that I did. I am married to a man who is very self centered and not affectionate. I feel like I am just here for his convienence and I am not to expect anything from him because he says that he is incapable of romance. A female friend of mine asks me for advice on her relationship and I feel as if I am stearing her wrong as well. I am taking my meds and have done some therapy, but the therapist said that I am in an abusive marriage and I need to separate. That scares me because then I would be in charge of my own life and would probably screw up even more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hun, it sounds like you are obviously not toxic. From the sounds of it, you have many people that love you... that definitely doesn't sound toxic to me! It sounds like your husband is the toxic one, making you feel worthless. Don't be afraid to stand on your own, believe me, I've been there before, and it is scary, but you CAN do it.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. xxx
(((HUGE HUGS)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds to me like your husband is the toxic one, not you.
OrphanAnnie
OrphanAnnie
Richie and Courty are right -- the problem is with your husband, not you. Speaking from experience I can tell you that abusive spouses are champions at making their partners believe that everything is the partner's fault, and it looks like you are accepting that is truth. It's not! I thought I could never make it alone, but when I got away I found that I was a much better person than I'd ever thought, and you'll find that out too.
ZAZAS
ZAZAS
I'm scared to be on my own too. Thanks for the post, and I agree with everyone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been alone for most of my life-- I am 61--I am AFRAID to be with someone!
Let me tell you this-- there is a LOT of help out there for us!
START with the DOMESTIC ABUSE center for your area. They know what you are going thru and they KNOW HOW TO HELP you get OUT on your own! TRY HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, and check the yellow pages for WOMEN'S CENTERS, WOMEN IN TRANSITION, the SALVATION ARMY (you might NOT be religious--but the SA--has centers and support for WOMEN IN TRANSITION!) just--KEEP LOOKING because HELP is out there--
People are MORE aware of this need and there are even churches that will help: stay away from CATHOLIC and other conventional/CONSERV ATIVE churches tho--