Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It all started 8 years ago, I had a wife, 2 kids I helped raise and loved. I had a great job as a factory electronics tech. I was also Senior electronics tech and lead man of a crew of 25. I was making double what they were paying supervisors at that time. I was good at what I did and I loved it. Fast forward 8 years, after a surgery that failed to resolve my pain, leaving all of the dr's scratchimg their heads. In that same year, I lost my grandfather and my brother. I got notice of divorce 3 days after my brother's funeral. I have been fighting pain and bowel issues every since. I'm so miserable every morning, I have gotten to the point it's hard to take another day of it. If I didn't believe in God I would have been dead long ago, because I would have killed myself. I still face the same pain every day. On the few days I don't have pain, I'm so mentally screwed up by depression, I feel paralyzed. Other people don't get it either. Some of them, my own family, think I fake it so I don't have to work. It's very aggravating to already feel worthless and then other people re-affirm it. I wish I could dump this shit on them for a few months, just long enough to get the picture, and laugh while I watch them cry every day! I don't know how you spend 2 weeks at the Cleveland Clinic, have a complex failed surgery with continuing abdominal pain and getting up and going to work. I guess I'm a pussy! I'm just so tired of all of it, I don't really give a Damn if I wake up tomorrow morning! I feel like i'm about to snap! I have an appt. With a surgeon. June 21st, God I hope he can help me, we think the adhesions from the first surgery are causing the increase in pain. I want him to do an exploratory laparotomy, then again, I may go to the Nebraska Organ Failure specialty hospital. I have a rare birth defect. I was born growing adhesions, and will have them until they probably kill me, since I will need a surgery every 8 to 10 years and I'm 46. Sorry for rambling just have to get how I feel out, because I feel like a useless, worthless, lazy piece of shit and in mind boggling pain almost every day, all day! Sly
I live with constant pain, have migraines, IBS, acid reflux and now menieres disease which has had me being sick all night feeling nausea and dizzy so badly that it is impossible to move without the room spinning. I also have tinnitus which is part of the disease and I am told that it will get worse.
I live alone and battle with terrible depression and anxiety and have spent months crying out of despair, and constant physical pain.
For 3 days and nights the migraines were so bad I could not sleep because even my head touching the pillow hurt. I dread the pain and the more pain there is the harder it is to cope with and endure.
No wonder you feel so bad after what you have been through.
I don't give a damn if I wake up tomorrow either in fact I am often wondering how to end it. I cannot move for hours with depression either. There is no point I feel in my being here. I feel worthless too, no family, no husband, no children, long story. Living alone and in pain and struggle to sleep.
I admire your courage and strength and that your faith helps. I lost mine as I could not feel God's presence anymore and felt utterly rejected by him too.
I did not mean to ramble on, just thought sharing might help. You are not alone. I understand so much of the despair and lonliness and people not getting how much pain you are in. I reached out to my church and they rejected me, so I stopped going in the end.
I am here if you feel like talking, thinking of you sending loving hugs and that you can get the help and healing you need.
hugs
You already know how I feel and I HATE knowing the never ending daily pain you go through. I also know what you go through dealing with the situation regarding your parents and that adds to the stress and frustration. I can't imagine ANYONE in your position who wouldn't be depressed and angry. I am so sorry that your family or anyone would ever accuse you of faking your pain . That pisses me off for you! You know I have chronic pain and I was just telling my husband what I would give to have ONE DAY to not be in pain. I don't even know what it would feel like anymore. I'm sure you feel the same and I know your pain is ten fold what mine is. I also know you're strong and you're STUBBORN. I'm so glad you are going to see the surgeon on June 21st. I pray he can help you. You know too that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
HUGE HUGE HUGS~
LMT