Hi zeezee,

It is scary to be cornered by depressing thoughts. Have you considered talking with family and friends for job leads? Another factor could be that you are using poor job references. You may decide to review your job references in order to know if some previous employers are hurting your reputation.

Many hugs to you today. I understand how difficult it seems right now. However, keep the faith and hope that things may change for the better any day now.

I would file for unemployment. I've been on it a couple of times, There's no shame in it if you are genuinely looking for work and need a hand. That's what it is there for. You sound like an intelligent and sane person so I don't know why it's been so hard to find work. I don't know where you live. I think it's good that you are willing to wash dishes and do grunt work, I've don't that too. work is work and if you need the money, you got to do what you got to do.
what about driving a cab or bussing table/dishwashing (at another place), pet sitting?, delivering papers, working at a big store like Safeway or Walmart... I'm sorry things are so hard now. Looking for work and being unemployed and broke is the worst. Hang in there. Someone will hire you. It can take some time.
That's crappy that your dad is mocking you. He shouldn't be doing that.
How old are you? Are you going to apply for jobs in person or online?
I've had a lot of jobs and looked for jobs many times so I can be a support if you want.
Don't be too hard on yourself, many many people go through this. It's awful but you'll get through it.

Thank you both for your advice and support. I have reached out to family for job leads, they help by spreading the word but until now, nothing comes out of it. It's true, a big part of me is the shame in filing for unemployment. I never thought it would come to this but right now, it feels like a losing battle because I cannot live like this anymore. I just feel so pathetic and truthfully, I feel resentment towards my friends who are doing well. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way and it's unhealthy, but I just feel so negative right now. I definitely am not in touch with them during this time of my life because I can't deal with their perfect world in comparison to mine. The last time I talk to them, I get comments like, why am I wearing the same old clothes and why am I not doing something about my hair (no style, no highlights whatsoever). I gave some lame excuse but the truth is, I can't even afford a haircut.

zeezee, It's difficult for any person's face to light up with a grin when sad things are happening to them while at the same time others seem to enjoy their life. And it can't be a fault for you to want to match standards with successful people. When times are rugged you should expect better; tells that you still have a healthy attitude for ambition. And this is called humility, a modest respect for what life throws at you, and at which is a point in life that you can expect that something positive has to soon happen, as you are fighting back and not going idle or hopeless, but yet still trying to overcome; and this is called faith in yourself. Faith is an enemy to pride, pride restrains you but faith encourages you and promotes you.

You need only to take notice of that fighting spirit and move on to visit the unemployment office, then apply for benefits you rightfully earned as a worker, and this assistance is meant just for times such as what you experience. It is not entirely breaking your fighting spirit to claim this entitlement. Can't fell for you to register with a local employment agency or take advantage of those temporary work programs as well.

As for the targets of thoughtless comments concerning your grooming skills, that's a personal matter and your business only, not any other person's business other than your own. True, it is best to look your best while going out for job searching and meeting with potential employers. However, it breaks the rules of friendship to over criticize, especially when you deserve compliments that only have a good effect or words that promote your personal well-being; you need that right now. So you may have to hush friends and family and ask that they change the course of their thoughts when their words intrude on your thoughts or when you feel that the attacks are ignorant and useless. What bears importance right now is that you are not giving up, and you don't deserve to be at odds with someone you care about as you are dealing with a critical moment in your life. It may be time to flatter you by the use of friends and family writing letters of recommendation to use for jobs references rather than creating disparaging remarks aimed at you. Perhaps asking them to jot their support by writing a brief, sincere, and warm letter of your personal good character & skills, with positive feedback, will impress prospective employers to hire you. Most businesses accept such a letter of character reference.

Last, the good which comes with growing through hard times or strong personal life trials is that you really are growing keen with spiritual insight, as thus you will learn how to connect better to the world around you. So please liberate your thinking away from those cruel and destructive comments about you, or odd behaviors, too, and stay strictly focused on what you have to personally do to survive and what matters best to your own happiness.

You must have unmistakable confidence in your efforts when/as you experience rough times, and you will have a lifetime of strong issues to deal with.

I personally admire that you understand what's right and wrong for you and it's good to set goals, work is a part of life. And thinking of finding it tells that your mind is determined and capable of thinking clearly about those things that everyone has to face up to. We all have work to do. What keeps you inspired is only to speak out with more of the truth that dwells in you and not let shame or pride hinder your remarkable courage. I hope for you the best in life! You have remarkable courage! Hugs! Good day to you :-)

Just be calm, everything takes some time. Ups and downs are part of everyone's life. But one thing I assure if you believe you can do anything. Keep trying, you will get a job and come out of this depressive situation.

A little update here (more like a rant). I got offered a job but it was about 1.5hrs away. I was a bit reluctant but I'm desperate for the money too, so I agreed. I was briefed over the phone what my job and responsibilities were and how much I would get paid. When I got there, it was a joke! It's almost like they know I'm desperate for work or something, and offered me a pay so low I can't even pay my gas (which they won't reimburse) with it. I'm so upset right now. Beggars may not be choosers, but I know my math!

Hi zeezee,

Now, is this to mean that the management literally changed their information concerning the rate of pay wages told to you by phone after you met with them face to face? This appears as misleading and disrespectful conduct! Very disappointing behavior and not professional at all to calculate by phone and then later on lower the terms (and for no logical reason why). I can agree with you there. Seems the only way to hook up with employment with them is to arrange to live nearby. However, I really hope that you may find work inside your home area in the near future. Good luck with your job search, zeezee.

Thank you, Remiah. I was feeling so crushed when I realized that they just say what I wanted to hear over the phone to get my foot in the door, even though they knew it'd take me 1.5hrs to get to them. I think my face showed my disappointment and my new co worker is now trying to help me write up a new contract and negotiate my salary. He gave some good advice and was very kind, which I really appreciated. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow and if they won't agree to my salary, I'll just walk away.

It's a pleasure to chat with you, zeezee! I'm so sorry for what happened. I'd feel crushed, too, when something I expect falls through; it's disappointing the way things were handled, the low down tactics. And I'm so glad that the co-worker is helping to write up a new contract and negotiate your salary. Hopefully, you will gain an advantage with the extra help. Nice to know that you are thinking on your feet; yes, walk away if you don't get what you expect. Stick to your goals to go in a positive direction.

Putting my hands together for you tonight. I do hope that all goes well tomorrow as well :-) Hugs! <3

I think I am much older than you and for the first time in my life I've had to file for unemployment. don't be ashamed - it's not a handout - it's a bridge until you get past this rough time in your life. Don't risk losing everything you've worked for because of pride. I Know it's not easy to face but take it one day at a time and focus on your goals and how to reach them.