It said, I hate my fucking life!

Nevermind, I can barely see the damn screen.

I have been where you are now but not by choice. My disability ruined my carreer, I was am empty Nester, and my marriage was in the pot. One thing that I realized is that my life was not balanced. There were 4 major points that were being neglected and not at a healthy place. My

PHYSICAL
SPIRITUAL
EMOTIONAL
INTELLECTUAL
Health needed a tune up. They needed to be equally good or else, the rest would suffer. I don't know if you can understand this and I hope you can. Try working on all of the Aves in your life. Do not neglect one for the other. I think once you feel balanced that you will feel better. Much love.

Mine wasn't by choice, I have a lot of serious internal birth defects, look at my other posts. There is ALOT to my story! Thanks, Ted

I can really relate to you Ted!! Yes you lost a lot. I did too. Twenty five years ago I graduated from acting school and was working on a masters degree in Theater. And that's the end of the story. I've been disabled ever since. Thank God I have my husband and my son, especially my son. They give me a purpose. But for you, Ted, I know you don't have those things to keep you going so it's that much harder. So you know what? You're going to have to keep going for us, here at DS. People here care about you. Not everyone here knows you at that well, but some of us like myelf know you well enough to know that we care. And your parents need you too. But I do know it's really hard, especially when you have so much pain. Sending more prayers.

Sending you lots of prayers and hope is that your dog in your picture? He definitely needs you you are so important to him and to your parents and everyone else that cares about you like everyone in this group we are all feeling the same thing for different reasons but we all feel the same helpless and hopeless hang in there my friend one day at a time

You're still important Ted!! I know it's hard to feel it sometimes but you are!

Thanks All! I haven't been this depressed for a long Time. I'm trying to sort things out into different subjects that are part of my problem. Pick it apart, remember I'm OCD! Most of the time my little OCD terrorist SOB is running around, putting shit in my head too! Can anyone off him for me, I'll pay ya! Lol Ted

BIG!!!

lol

You just have to remember that you matter don't do it for anyone else except for your self you'll feel better when you realize your not useless. Doesn't your god have a plan for you so trust in him and stuff.

My God is THE God and my savior is Jesus Christmas, and I fly that flag with honor dude!

Autocorrect sucks!

Aka, I gotcha. I was not offended, but I came off a little harsh! Sorry!

So I am seriously a mess right now and not one to be giving advise about anything at all, but as I read your post I thought of something..You clearly arent the type to be satisfied being unproductive, and you must hold a ton of knowledge about your recent career. Have you ever thought of teaching a course, maybe online, or giving an online or in person seminar? Im not sure of the nature of your disability.. anyway, the fact that you are reaching out as yiu go deeper into depression is a good thing- I feel like I just thought my problem would go away or pass and never told anyone until I was deep in it that ot was almost debilitating. Also, Ive read that after the first bout of deoression, its easier to become depressed later, and often the depression is worse than the previous time. I wish you the best !!