Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Depression hit me hard today for no reason at all. Suddenly I miss my mum so much, I can't even go see her if I want to because she's in another country. Other than that, I don't feel anything. When my husband talks to me, it's hard for me to think about what he's saying because it doesn't register in my head. Then he feels frustrated with me cos I'm 'not there'. I have explained to him many times about my depression but he gets impatient about it and thinks that depression is something you should just snap out of, like do something else or think of something, to shake it off. I explained to him that I just need time and I'll be myself again but it annoys him so much. His mother has depression as well, so maybe that's why he gets so frustrated by it.
zeezee, are you encouraging your mom to take care of herself? I'd do that if I had the same feelings as you. We are all missing out on the meaningful side of life these days. The pandemic has the world separated and divided and no person is able to fully concentrate on how to enjoy life. I'm distracted daily.
Perhaps keeping in touch with mom by appointment is a smart idea. This way, each of you may have something to look forward to. Keep little reminder notes on the nightstand before bedtime, some thoughts on hand to share as you communicate with your mother. Pull out the family albums and dig into old favorite memories of your at-home with Mom days. My own mother is passed now. Yet I still use many of her hand-me-down recipes (reminders of comfort). Now more than ever we have to be creative and good at it.
As for your husband's idea of simply getting over depressive thoughts, it is only because he has invested so much attention to the few moments that you are well enough. It does not necessarily imply that he has no compassion. It is that on the days you feel better or well enough is when he trusts that you are indeed able to keep the spot going; this is where he understands that you can tackle depression. Many husbands are this way during the high-points of mental health, and husbands are noted thinkers, as they live curiously in the moment and enjoy connecting more to the good things of life, which, as we females already understand it, is not always the usual norm with us. I really feel that you understand that he thinks of your health as a priority. However, use your productive time wisely for the purpose of sharing quality time with him. Remember that you are still at risk of sad thoughts and feelings even when you are happy. And the more proactive you are the more your husband expects of you. It is a good idea to remind him that depression is a rollercoaster ride. And your hopes are to keep him as confident as you are because both you and your husband are learning how to cope with this illness as a goal one day at a time, and he should always use what he's learned from the past to support you in a less negative way. Forgive him and pray to move forward with comfort and respect for each others' feelings.
Best of the day to you!