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I failed today.

brascoliosis
brascoliosis
I bombed a pharmacology exam. My mood has been pretty "up" for the last week but this one did me in. It didn't make me feel better that the other students said the test was hard. It wasn't that bad. I just didn't know the material. I'm a natural with connecting with my patients. Probably the only thing I ever got right is connecting with the people I take care of. And if I keep screwing up like this, I'm going to hurt them. I can't say stuff like this to my peers, strange as that may seem. They have to be perfect, happy. I believe that they are too superficial at this point without having worked in a hospital. I have to be real. I have to say the things that no-one likes hearing. I've watched too many people die in the hospital. My results affect me differently. It's not just a grade any more. It's me potentially killing someone.

I guess I just needed to get it out. Thanks for reading. Or not reading. I'm just glad I have a place to put my thoughts for once.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
>>It's me potentially killing someone.

Really??
joneszy93
joneszy93
I know it's a huge let down when we fail exams, especially when the information is so critical like this. But on the bright side, you're recognizing this and you can use that as a way to do better on the next exam. It's good to be able to connect to patients too, becasue you can empathize with them, which helps you have a better bedside manner, but it can also make the job more emotional. I hope that you're not too hard on yourself and I hope that you retain the info better for your next exam. I know that pharmacology can be a beat to learn. Good luck!
joneszy93
joneszy93
Wandering vet - yes, if you give a patient the wrong meds and that person is allergic or something, it could potentially kill the patient.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
NO DOUBT.
brascoliosis
brascoliosis
@ joneszy93- Thank you. I've messed a test or two earlier in the semester but this got me. In the beginning of the semester, I wasn't expecting to last. Now, the semester is almost over so I guess it's hitting me that I really going to make it. I just want to be someone who makes it AND knows what the hell they're doing haha. I've seen bad nurses. It's kind of scary. But yeah, thanks. I usually am pretty hard on myself.
brascoliosis
brascoliosis
@ WanderingVet- like, really really.
joneszy93
joneszy93
That's totally understandable, because, it can affect someone else's life in a matter of life or death. Anyone in the med field who doesn't know what they're doing, is a scary situation, becasue it's all potentially a situation of life or death. We all seem to be pretty hard on ourselves when we want to do better, especially in the med field, becasue the result of our work (and knowledge) affects our patients on such an intense level. That's great that you feel like you're going to make it.
LuvMyTitans
LuvMyTitans
Bras.

I'm sorry you bombed the test..but you said you " connect" with your patients.. do you know how HUGE that is? yes, you have to get the pharmacueticals right.. I get that. No offense, but if you need to study more..then study more to get it right ( yes, I'm sounding motherly .. it's what I do ).

Just want to give you an example. A year ago I had major spinal fusion back surgery.. MAJOR...... take the bone from my hip and use some cadavar bone to opent the space where I had no disc,then add the hardware.....

on the 3rd day after surgery, in the hospital.. I had a nurse who came in and I needed to go to the bathroom. ( maybe TMI ).. and I couldn't lift myself alone..much less walk to the bathroom.. and the nurse ( a new one I had never seen).. wouldn't help me. LITERALLY wouldn't help me sit up or get out of the bed and get my walker.. I somehow managed to do it, in excruciating pain, while she stood there and watched me. I was in shock.. and I refused to let her in my room again. I guess my point is... being a kind and compassionate nurse is so important and you have that. You can pass the tests and get it all ' right' . I don't believe you would EVER put anyone's life in jeapordy you care for.


Hugs ~

LMT