I know that it is not easy living with these thoughts that come but try and think of something else when it happens. I don't think that ODing is the key. You yourself said that you don't want to do it. Is there anyone that you can go talk to or something you can do to take tour mind off of things?

im trying to do hw now, but im shaking bad, so i turned on the tv im gonna check out this show called mercy and then watch my favorite show law and order svu......i know other people are much worse and deal with alot, i do think about them

but right now im sooooo idk i cant even cry strait, i feel like im in pain, my heart feels sooo heavy, i cnt get it out tho

aww i am sorry hun.

i get the bad thoughts quite alot too....as long as we don't act on them and try to get ourselves out of the horrible feeling it's ok

just talking on here is helping you yes?
you decided to do that which proves you are doing the right thing by not acting on the bad thoughts but trying to fight them

you are strong and can win the battle

go girl

xx

talking helps a little.....coming here helps...but its just the thoughts, and anger i cant control it....i cant find words anymore, cant find anything...

You're right that you can't control what thoughts come into your head. But just because a thought is there, doesn't mean you have to pay any attention to it. If you don't dwell on it and give it attention and worry about it, other thoughts will take its place. YOU control how you act. Thinking something doesn't mean you have to act on the thought or believe it or feel bad because of it. It's a losing battle to try to keep from thinking about something...but once a thought occurs, you can CHOOSE to ignore it. It will go away, especially if you focus on something else.

I hope that makes some sense. At first it seems really hard, so you do have to make a real effort to practice. Then after some practice, it becomes what you naturally do.

Please do not OD. I'm glad your mom is helping you. Do you think she would help you get to your doctor or a therapist to see what other things might help you?

ur very right....last night i went to talk to my dad (u see im trying to be open, telling him wat going on in my mind) so i talked to him rl nicely, i told him that these thoughts about hurting my self are in my head, i told him i dnt want to be alone with them, i said how much pain im in but he like didnt listen he said the cutting is stupid and its not helping anything. the not eating is stupid and i know exactly wat im doing and until i put myself strait no therapy no evaluations, no anything. but how am i suppose to put myself strait? thats why i need something else, someone else.

last night i started thinking about other things then i went to bed so i didnt od or cut .....i feel good about it this morning. it was extremely hard to sleep tho, i had the worse migrane from crying soo much

OMG............ those are some of the worse things your father could have said.. I am so sorry.. I think it is horrible when a child reaches out for someone that they dont listen to them.. so sorry

my mom said shes gonna try and find me a psychiatrist where she lives

I am so sorry you feel that way!! I know exactly what you are going through. I know I want to live, but I drive home from work and have to pull the steering wheel straight to keep from running into a tree. And people without depression just think you are being a drama queen. It's frustrating thinking about it all the time. You are in my prayers!!

thank you!! tharp