Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hey so for those who don't know me I'm 16 n I live in Ontario. I go to the high school of performing arts for music, teach as a dance instructor and run a summer dance camp with some other instructors at my studio. Sounds like I have a pretty good life? Not so much lately..
I'm going to try n keep it short but here it goes..
When I get depressed I cut myself. I haven't been recently which is good, but that all changed about a month ago!
I am currently almost 2 months pregnant. I have been tired, depressed, emotional, bipolar, and hormonal for the past month now. With all the things going on in my life, I've decided it's best for me not to keep the baby and to terminate the pregnancy. Also because my dad told me if I kept the baby he would leave me n my mom.
Anyways, my abortion is this coming Thursday an I'm kinda nervous.
A part of me feels that I'm being selfish in my decision and that if I am going to take the life of a potential child, I don't deserve to live myself.
But that's not all..
Last week I watched my boyfriend, the father, put one of my friends in the hospital. I can't look at him the same anymore. I can't bare to break up with him though. He is very emotionally attatched n I fear that if I end our relationship he may do something stupid or even go as far as to kill himself. I don't want to live with this fear!
Still not all though..
I have been making some poor decisions lately. For the past week I have not had any make up at home n I have no money to buy any. Like I said, the pregnancy is making me very emotional n today I decided to steal some make up from the drug store because I've been feeling fat and ugly without any for the past week. ( mostly because of my crappy hormones that have been all ovr the place! ) I got caught n arrested. Now I have to pay charges n have a criminal record. Fml!
Still not done..
My mom wants to leave my dad because he is not supportive at all and has been a real a$$ through out this whole thing! She has been talking about it for years. He really isn't a family person at all. He doesn't sleep in the same room as my mom anymore, he goes out every night n we never see him. He acts like he is single again going out with his motorcycle friends till whenever! That used to be somethig me and him shared n enjoyed going for rides together, but the past few years he has distanced himself from the family and he hasn't really been there when I needed him!
I am sooooooooooooo stressed out right now.. And I have exams to write.. I feel like there's no other way out. I've resorted back to cutting which I know isn't good but I have. N I haven't been eating. Now I'm thinking about if anyone would actually care if I died tomorrow? I wouldn't have to worry about anything. It would all be done and overwith. I find myself thinking what else is there left to do? It's all so complicated and I feel like there is no other way out! If anyone has advice please share it. I could really use it right about now!!!
xxKattxx
I'm going to try n keep it short but here it goes..
When I get depressed I cut myself. I haven't been recently which is good, but that all changed about a month ago!
I am currently almost 2 months pregnant. I have been tired, depressed, emotional, bipolar, and hormonal for the past month now. With all the things going on in my life, I've decided it's best for me not to keep the baby and to terminate the pregnancy. Also because my dad told me if I kept the baby he would leave me n my mom.
Anyways, my abortion is this coming Thursday an I'm kinda nervous.
A part of me feels that I'm being selfish in my decision and that if I am going to take the life of a potential child, I don't deserve to live myself.
But that's not all..
Last week I watched my boyfriend, the father, put one of my friends in the hospital. I can't look at him the same anymore. I can't bare to break up with him though. He is very emotionally attatched n I fear that if I end our relationship he may do something stupid or even go as far as to kill himself. I don't want to live with this fear!
Still not all though..
I have been making some poor decisions lately. For the past week I have not had any make up at home n I have no money to buy any. Like I said, the pregnancy is making me very emotional n today I decided to steal some make up from the drug store because I've been feeling fat and ugly without any for the past week. ( mostly because of my crappy hormones that have been all ovr the place! ) I got caught n arrested. Now I have to pay charges n have a criminal record. Fml!
Still not done..
My mom wants to leave my dad because he is not supportive at all and has been a real a$$ through out this whole thing! She has been talking about it for years. He really isn't a family person at all. He doesn't sleep in the same room as my mom anymore, he goes out every night n we never see him. He acts like he is single again going out with his motorcycle friends till whenever! That used to be somethig me and him shared n enjoyed going for rides together, but the past few years he has distanced himself from the family and he hasn't really been there when I needed him!
I am sooooooooooooo stressed out right now.. And I have exams to write.. I feel like there's no other way out. I've resorted back to cutting which I know isn't good but I have. N I haven't been eating. Now I'm thinking about if anyone would actually care if I died tomorrow? I wouldn't have to worry about anything. It would all be done and overwith. I find myself thinking what else is there left to do? It's all so complicated and I feel like there is no other way out! If anyone has advice please share it. I could really use it right about now!!!
xxKattxx
deleted_user
my heart goes out to you, I could weep reading your story, I cannot give you an answer but i can send you love and I will say a prayer for you and your family and I will continue to pray that you will find the answer within, or find a friend who can share your burden and give you a hug. only for know think about what you are responsible for, and that is you and the baby, even if you know you cannot keep it there are beautiful women out there longing for a baby and have been waiting for a chance to be a parent.... please if you can think about it, its a life that could be given a chance, no child is a mistake no child at all but sadley I know that it happens, and this is your choice sweetheart.... as for your mom and dad well they are adults and they have to be responsible for themselves, you are only meant to love and repsect them as your parents, they make the decisions as to what is best for them. you cant take on all this yourself, as for your boyfriend, He too needs help and need to take responsibilty for His actions, if he can hurt your friend just think what He could do to you. again He as to be responsible this is not your issue, whether you are emotinally attached or not, if we want to know if something will work out in our lives, we have to look at the start, we have a spirit within us that tries to show us when we are on the wrong path, or if someone is not good for us , and your boyfriend is showing you who he is and that he has a seriois problem, abuse shows it self in many forms, dont put yourself in danger or guilt, if he does anything to himself that is his choice my darling you are Not RESPONSIBLE. the only thing we can change in life is our minds and our situations, and that begins with a thought of, whats the RIGHT thing to do for me. then you will have an idea.... breathe in and say a prayer over yourself and wait for an answer, it will come if you trust. I dont know if you believe in Jesus but I do and I know He wants the Best for you, and no matter how we come to Him He will help us and show us a way out, it may not be easy, but in the end I know you will come through this. be differnt, you are allowed to be, some people think well i am in this mess or this situation and Its best if i stay her to keep the peace what ever excuse we use, Please stop and think what life could be like if you stood up for YOU. give yourself a chance to live and give the Life in you a chance too, if not with you then Bless someone else.... I hope you read this with the compassion I am trying to send over to you. I have a beautiful daughter and I had a miscarriage 3 years ago, but I know my daughter is a blessing I didnt have a good start but I am making a way for her to live and be, by equipping her with love affirmations boundaries communication time faith all dressed in grace and love....... I know darling that what ever you decide will be hard to go through, but to go through we must, there is a light at this end of this, and you will get stronger wiser braver and Make a choice for you and allow others to take responsibilty fot themselves. I really hope someone comes into your world and Helps and LOVE you and walks with you through this difficult time.... much love I am sending you a Massive HUG cause You deserve it. please find help for the cutting I used to do this, but realize I dont need to be PUNISHED. I have done nothing wrong and if I have I am sorry But still Cutting doesnot help darling, and no matter how we tell ourselves its a release... Its a lie... You are a beautiful youn teenager. Live........
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