I feel the exact same way. I dont want to be here anymore I want to leave/go away/be gone forever. I have no one to talk to. No one seems to understand. I just want to go painlessly and successfully.

Terrible feeling.. I know.
I've felt that way a lot over the past 10 years.. tried to off myself a few times too and I'm not proud of it... those were bottoms for sure. I'm just lucky I didn't succeed.

There is a lot of help out there, the hard part is tapping into it. If you've got anyone you can ask I'd recommend doing so. I was 51/50d after being arrested when the cops found a noose in my back pack over a year ago and I spent a good deal of time in a "safety cell". When I got out my family basically said I can get help or do "my own thing". They helped me tap into resources that provided me with support and direction and I feel a lot better now. Its still hard sometimes but its better.

This is something that is very hard to do on your own.. I feel for you though.

I feel that way sometimes. I don't want to die but I don't want to wake up either. I guess I would be happy if I was Snow White.

Snow White, to sleep forever unless some one who truly loves me awakens me. That would be perfect. I wish for that so badly it makes me cry.

I know how you feel. Sometimes I can see myself just turning the wheel slightly to the left or right while going 70 down the freeway... makes me wonder.. but I don't want to hurt anyone else, only myself.

I keep praying that God will take me also in
my sleep, but I keep waking up. So there has
got to be some reason we are here. I don't have alot of people to talk to either. If you
would like to talk feel free. It helps to vent
what your feelings are sometimes.

Its kind of a weird feeling for me. The thought to die is in my whole being and sometimes wham! its just there. I am not afraid to die. I just don't wanna suffer along the way. Gawd...how selfish is that of me. But yeah at times I feel like I wanna sleep and not wake up.

same here! (((((((((heretic))))))))))

I am sorry these feelings are with you. I get them too.

Are you able to find something to hang onto? I find that goals, sometimes ones as simple as wondering who will win a reality TV show contest, can help me find a reason to go on.

Do you have any goals, or simple things to focus on when you feel low?

Turn your back on these feelings, defy them, you are worthy of living, you are an important member of society, the world would be a sadder place without you. Talk yourself up, come on, you can do it, I know you can.

i hear you, and i can completely relate.
the responses on this post are helping me as well, so thank you heretic for being brave/honest and posting it.

Each and every night when my husband says goodnight, see you in the am. I tell him, not if I have my way. I also want the torture of life to stop and just not wake up in the am. I am sick of so called friends that I help non-stop and they actually count the minutes they are on the phone with me when I need them. This world is not the same as it used to be. I am sick of the insensitive, selfish, uncaring people who I have been unfortunate enough to let in my life. Just when I think, wow, a real person, BAMM. We can spend 15 hours on a computer for our own self gratification and gripe about 4 hours with a friend in crisis. Sick of it all. So you see I do understand and feel deeply for your situation.