I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. I have been there and it is not fun.

I watched a movie the other day called "Tuesdays with Morie" It really opened my eyes concerning how much time we have left on this earth and how best to spend it.

Don't give up...there is so much to be learned and experienced. Happiness does exist for those who seek it.

I get it. You think "bad" is more "real" somehow than good. Or that "bad" addresses your deep feelings more than "good".

If you're looking for advice, the only thing I can suggest is try to enjoy "good" things more deeply, so "good" things have equal emotional resonance and value! Love your whole life, good and bad!

I try to enjoy the good things especially the little things. A lot of the time the little things mean the most. I struggle with constant fatigue no matter how much I sleep, It's a struggle to get through each day. I know that I have hyperparathyroidism for the third time but my doctor won't refer me to my endocrinologist because my calcium levels are borderline high despite all of my symptoms. It just seems like I can count on the bad more than the good. I lost my mother three years ago which was really rough since I'm not close to the rest of my family. I have a son who I haven't seen since he was 6 because he lives with his Dad in the US.

I try and enjoy the little things too,because waiting for the big things to go well can take way too long...I'm sorry your feeling so bad right now.. ((hugs)))

Sorry about the physical health issues and the loss of your mother. Keep reaching out.

this has always seemed like a truth to me

joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Kahlil Gibran

and so I think what youre saying is basically true...what seems so wonderful to me is that something good will happen again, something beautiful will reveal itself again, love will touch our heart again

we all experience loss, grief, pain, loneliness, disappointment, emptiness...none of us are immune to good things turning bad....but we're all experiencing the good coming around again

I just try to be open to receiving it when it comes

LOVE THE BIG EARS ON THE KITTY PIC!
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Thank you for all of the support on here! Getting out with my boyfriend today helped improve my mood! Thank you for all the wonderful support and advice on here! I especially like the quote! It's true you can't have the light without the dark. i do need to remember that the good will come around again! As for my avatar it's a picture of a sand cat: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sand_cat . I really love animals especially cats!