Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was diagnosed with ADD, depression and anxiety as a teenager. When I was 20 I attempted suicide and was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder and boardline personality disorder. The ER doctor who was on staff when I was brought in for the suicide attempted flat out told me she thought I only did it for attention and sent me home after pumping my stomach. I didn't respond, I didn't want to stay in the hospital.
Since then, 7 years, I've gone through life on autopilot. Graduated from college, I have a good career but I have no friends, I don't date, I don't feel like I'm capable of having relationships. I recently had to sell my horse of 9 years because of financial reasons. She was the only thing that got me through everything and riding was my one and only hobby. Now I feel like I have nothing. I don't have anyone I can talk to about any of this, my parents would panic if I even mention that I'm slipping again. My life just doesn't seem worth it or important. I honestly don't think people would miss me and sometimes I just want to be gone.
Since then, 7 years, I've gone through life on autopilot. Graduated from college, I have a good career but I have no friends, I don't date, I don't feel like I'm capable of having relationships. I recently had to sell my horse of 9 years because of financial reasons. She was the only thing that got me through everything and riding was my one and only hobby. Now I feel like I have nothing. I don't have anyone I can talk to about any of this, my parents would panic if I even mention that I'm slipping again. My life just doesn't seem worth it or important. I honestly don't think people would miss me and sometimes I just want to be gone.
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A tree outside where I live is dying, seemingly from dog urine----with the bully in my building going out his way to not only have his dog urinate there but to have the dog urinate on the fence and sign I bought to try save the tree----and then slide the sign under my apt door.Turns out that was a TRIGGER for me----bullying and humialtion right out of high school. I didn't realize it at the...
I can definitely relate, on many levels, to how you feel. You're definitely not alone, and you can feel free to talk to me about anything, anytime. I'm just a message away!
I'm very sorry to hear of how the doctor treated you. That really irks me how anyone can judge another person, when you have to be in tremendous pain to even contemplate taking your life. That's sickening a doctor would do that. Shame on them. They're a doctor for a reason.. To help, not belittle. What a jerk.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I really do. It's hard.. Financially, I have sold quite a bit of personal possessions myself, in order to keep afloat.. If you ever need to rant, feel free to message me. I know you don't know me.. But.. I'd like to be there for you in any way I can.
~Aph
As far as anxiety/depression been there done that! I understand the dating thing. I tried but I'm just to neurotic and it causes me way more stress then joy so I find being alone is much better. Also I'm an introvert so it's in my nature!
Believe me everyone here understands what you are going through and like Aphrodisiac said...we are all just a message away if you need to talk/rant/vent or just listen :)
gotta forget worrying about your parents, as hard as that might be.
you dont seem like borderline, considering the possible borderline girlfriend i had.
you might want to look into avoidant personality disorder?
a sad, old movie, about a boy who could talk to horses, saw it yesterday on tv, "my brother talks to horses" you might want to catch, with it at least having a happy ending.
i never made it through high school, am on disability, and have no friends....with my cat being put to sleep last week (as i posted on too many threads)
the reason I was asking is cuz I love horses too, although I dont have one, have never had one, but was giving sdome serious thought to paying for lessons
i can just imagine that that one hour a week would be one of the highlights of those 7 days
is that a financial possibility?