it sounds like a genuine concern to me. As to who has things worse; there's no point comparing yourself to people who have it worse unless you're willing to compare yourself to those who have it better. Being accurate is important, not being self-abnegating.

I think maybe go talk to your family and see if they think you're worth food and water? I tend to think they will believe you are...

I question what the word 'worth' means. What does it mean to you? what is your value? Do you only have a value to others, and not to yourself? Who is 'yourself'? Where is that person?

You've lost your sense of self I think, and it's very important to find it again. Very important. If you aren't you, then you don't exist - which is where I think your not eating that meal is coming from.

but you do exist. And other people need you to care about that. Even if you don't right now, you will later, and the people who have invested their love and hopes and dreams into you all these years need you to hang on in there, talk to them, come back to them and let them show you love, and seek out whatever you need to get you back on your feet again.

First of all, welcome. After reading your post, it resonated with so many of the issues I've had a while ago. I just want you to understand that you aren't the only person that feels like that and though that may not help resolve your emotions and thoughts, you don't have to feel like nobody in the world understands you. It is in fact completely normal for anybody to feel what you feel. I mean we live in a world where society tells us we're not good enough. And because of our past traumatic experiences we don't know which way to go anymore. We've hit a wall. And know our negative thoughts are feeling like a spinning cycle. I think everybody feels like this at some point in their lifetime. It's part of human life. You're just bold and strong enough to reach out for help. And trufully, you've come to the right place. We will help you overcome your depression and anxiety because we've been through it. You can live happy without worries but it will be hard work. It will take a lot of self love and a lot of self belief/confidence. Remember this, life wouldn't put you through any thing you can't handle. Suicide is not the way out. Just like you said, you don't know what will happen when you die. What if you find yourself in the same position you're in now? What would be the purpose of suicide. That's why you HAVE TO live and face your fears. We all do! Living happily is the way out. You're important to this world more than you probably know. Don't let these negative thoughts make you think you don't have control over them. Because you do. Another important thing I want to mention is, don't apologize for how you feel. Don't apologize for opening up or for explaining your situation. The truth is that yes, some people do have it worse and some people do have it better. No one has it like you. Let it out. It's your life. It's okay to be selfish and talk about your problems. Don't let anybody else make you believe other wise! Your problems are just as important as anybody else's. Who cares what society believes is more serious or not! If you think it's a serious issue and it's bothering you, feel it and express it!
You need to let out what your fears are and what you're dealing with. If you want to message me and keep it confidential I'm a few clicks away. I won't tell anybody or share with anybody what you're going through. I will just listen and try to guide you the best way I know how.

Hope this helps!

Bridgie said a lot of what I thought to say, so I'll sort of build on her stuff.

First of all, depression has a way of making us look at the dark side of everything in order to have even good things bring us down.

Now for being down and our issues. There are things that will trigger my depression that may have no effect on you, and vice versa. That is just the way of things, so please do not compare yourself, or more accurately your triggers, to anybody else unless you are seeking people with similar issues so you can learn from each other.

You ARE worthy of food and drink, it is how we survive. And you ARE worthy of surviving.

Talk to close friends and family, focus on the ones who love you and will help you. You can ease into talking about your issues, do it in stages. When you find them withdrawing, or being afraid, it is a clue that you are near their limit of being able to share with you. Respect that limit.

If you find that you reach these limits before you get to the heart of your issues, then it is time to find a good therapist. They have "heard it all". It is their job to work with us to find a path that works for us. If they get lost with us, then they have the ability to talk to their peers to get ideas. Do not worry about what they think of you.

But be willing to work with them. If you talk to them and after you develop a good working relationship they ask you to do things (like make a list of things you are afraid of, or things you wish you could do) then DO IT! These are the things that will start you on your way to feeling better!

Welcome to the group! And for the record, you did just fine stating your issues!!!

Gentle hugs

Don't allow your self to think about your sadness but 30 minutes a day. Set the clock. Then, get up and get going. Like am big animal that falls down and surely will die if he doesn't get up, we will too. Get up, get up and move, move, move. Don't let this thing destroy you. Hugs.