Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
This is just a vent with a bunch of rhetorical questions. Not really looking for answers, just ears/eyes. <3
I will never understand my spring/summer depression. I have heard of something called Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. "Summertime Sadness" as opposed to "Winter Blues". No doctor ever seems to care about it really. "Well, it'll cool down before you know it." Yes. It will. But I want to know WHY this happens. Why do temperatures over 75 make me feel like dying? Why do I feel so depressed in the heat? Why do the physical symptoms of my other chronic illnesses show up more during the warm months? Why? Why? Why? All of my instances with depression had a reason. I live like a vampire because if I don't I'll be miserable. But do you know how lonely that is? I already live outside of the majority of the people I know's time zones, AND I'm a night owl. I'm super grateful for online groups, and every letter, phone call, text, whatever from the people I know, love, and miss, but when I get depressed I'm so lonely and I can't seem to do anything to stop it. Sometimes talking to loved ones is more lonely. :'( I just want to be ok. My life is hard enough anyway, but in the hot months, it's so much harder and I just feel like a trainwreck lately. I start having fears and PTSD Flashbacks when I feel myself "slipping away". it's like I'm trying hard not to "go crazy" or get put into a facility again. I hate irrational fears. But I guess, these fears are justified? I don't know.
Anyways, thanks to whoever made it this far reading my rambles. I'm just a mess right now. All of my methods of coping aren't working like they should so venting here is another option I'm utilizing. <3
You say you live outside people's time zones - did you move to Alaska or some country where the temperatures are cold in winter and cool in summer?
Thank you for sharing this, you are in my prayers. Take care and God bless.
I have photosensitivity issues so light is bothersome. I use a blue bulb & it helps me relax. Warm temps make my pain from PKD worse (no one knows why). I'm just miserable all around when it's warm out.
I live in a different time zone than all of my family and friends. I don't have anyone local other than my husband. I'm also a night owl, I sleep during the day & my husband works midnights so it works out. There's hardly anyone awake that I actually know if I ever need to reach out for someone to talk to. I end up writing them letters though just venting whatever because writing does help me as well.
*hugs* Thank you <3
A lot of what you say does resonate. I know I've had a lot of awful things happen in my life during the summer months, but before the last really awful thing happened, I was already feeling this way. My physical symptoms of PKD exacerbate in the warm months too...so, I kinda think my doctors write it off as that? Like, of course you're depressed & anxious more when you're not feeling well physically? I don't know. I work on healing my past pretty much every day. I can't help that I've just accumulated a lot of bad events in my life. But, I'm here. I'm carrying them around no matter how badly I try to ignore them or let them go. I also have photosensitive epilepsy, so bright lights & heat are bad for me anyway...I don't know...it's just a big accumulation of things. Writing does help me though. Reading what you & others have to say helps me get my mind off of feeling so much too. Thank you very much for taking the time to share a little of your experience with this. You've helped me jot down a few questions to ask myself in a journal. Self reflection helps me get a grip on myself. I can relate to your home life as a child as well. I hope you can do your best to stay strong and alright this spring/summer too. *hug*
Hello. I'm doing ok. I feel pretty down but my mind has been active enough & my pain level has been minimal enough for me to get some writing done. That always helps me & makes me feel productive. Thank you for prayers! *hug* Hope you are well!