Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am having a very hard time staying happy lately.
I really miss Gabe. I really do. I try not to think about it because when i do, i get sad, angry, frustrated, and some other emotions I can't explain.
Honestly, I feel like a terrible Mother. I don't even feel like a mother anymore. I am up here in Massachusetts, with my aunt, having a good time while my mom is down in Florida taken care of MY CHILD. My CHILD who i should be taking care of. It makes me feel like shit every single day and i feel like a bad mom because i am basically living with my aunt, and going to the movies, and shopping, and going to a concert next month... I feel horribly guilty for all of that.
I am up here staying with my aunt to try to further my education. I really want to get my GED so that i can get a good job or maybe a career so that i can make a better life for MY SON. But in the process of all of this i am doing fun stuff and it makes me feel incredibly, horribly guilty.
I've been trying sooo hard not to think about the fact that my son Gabe isn't with me, because if that's all i thought about, i would be a huge emotional mess. I feel like deep down inside i am fallen apart because i really miss him and it hurts. no one understands, it seems like.
I really wish i didn't feel this way. I am trying sooo hard to stay happy, but in the process, i am slowly falling apart. Especially when i see other mothers on my facebook page with their children or taking care of them.
I really miss Gabe. I really do. I try not to think about it because when i do, i get sad, angry, frustrated, and some other emotions I can't explain.
Honestly, I feel like a terrible Mother. I don't even feel like a mother anymore. I am up here in Massachusetts, with my aunt, having a good time while my mom is down in Florida taken care of MY CHILD. My CHILD who i should be taking care of. It makes me feel like shit every single day and i feel like a bad mom because i am basically living with my aunt, and going to the movies, and shopping, and going to a concert next month... I feel horribly guilty for all of that.
I am up here staying with my aunt to try to further my education. I really want to get my GED so that i can get a good job or maybe a career so that i can make a better life for MY SON. But in the process of all of this i am doing fun stuff and it makes me feel incredibly, horribly guilty.
I've been trying sooo hard not to think about the fact that my son Gabe isn't with me, because if that's all i thought about, i would be a huge emotional mess. I feel like deep down inside i am fallen apart because i really miss him and it hurts. no one understands, it seems like.
I really wish i didn't feel this way. I am trying sooo hard to stay happy, but in the process, i am slowly falling apart. Especially when i see other mothers on my facebook page with their children or taking care of them.
"I am up here staying with my aunt to try to further my education. I really want to get my GED so that i can get a good job or maybe a career so that i can make a better life for MY SON."
That is a very noble thing. It is also normal for a Mother to miss her child when apart.
As for the perks of being where you are .. they 'just come with the territory', it seems to me.
Feeling guilty comes from losing sight of your goal. It all made sense when you chose to do this .. if you look at it the same way, it should still make sense.
Evidently, you cannot 'have it both ways' ... so you have a decision to make. Make the decision ... and remember WHY you made the decision .. and it 'should' justify good and proper for you.
Just remember you are there to further your education and you will be getting back to your son as soon as you can. Try not to feel too guilty.
Now I know that sick and getting an education are two different things, but the point is that sometimes a mom needs to focus on herself and rely on family to help out with the rest of her duties.
Focus on getting that GED, and communicate with your son as often as is appropriate.
Then when you have the GED things will be different!