Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm 22 years old. I'm a survivor of child abuse, and I have been diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression w/psychotic features, and severe anxiety disorder. We were also very poor, getting kicked out of our house about once a year and moving at least 15 times in my childhood, including into an attic and a one-roomed shed with a bucket for a toilet.
As a child, I got really depressed from being abused and by the time I was in highschool, I had no support group because no one listened to me when I talked about my home life. I started failing my classes and my anxiety proved too much, so I dropped out during my senior year. A year later, when I was 17, my dad kicked me out and I moved 700 miles away into my long distance boyfriend's house.
I was there for about 4 years, during which I had a few long-term jobs that I would eventually break down and quit. Then we broke up and I had nowhere else to go but back to my hometown. I called the suicide hotline and began taking about 6 medications. Then I found an old boyfriend from highschool and we moved in together with some roommates to avoid living with my parents. We started dating again and I got a job at a nursing home where he also worked.
One of our roommates kicked us out and we had to move in with my parents. My medication stopped helping and I started to have nervous breakdowns in the middle of work. I tried smoking marijuana and it basically took my anxiety away, so I continued that for like a month. But then work offered to put us through a free college course to become CNAs, so I stopped smoking. Classes started last week. With a drug test. That I failed.
So they called work and I was told to come sign termination papers. Which I didn't do. I stayed home in bed. I haven't left bed since then.
I haven't felt joy recently enough to remember what it feels like. The last time I felt what could have been joy, it was suddenly overcome with a compulsive urge to burst into tears. I can't be entertained or distracted. All I feel is burned out and beaten. And I can no longer see past my obstacles. I no longer care what lies past my obstacles, because they no longer feel worth overcoming. I'm either numb or suffering.
I've been admitted to hospitals, I've called the suicide hotline. I just got off the phone with them, actually. They recommended a support group and gave me this website.
So this is my first post. Nice to meet you.
Any feedback at all is quite valued.
Nice to meet you.
From what I just read, this tells me, youre alot stronger than you acknowledge. Your life has been quite hectic. We are all here to help you, support you. Depression is lame.
Maybe you can talk to HR at your job and explain youre severely depressed, thoughts of suicide. People suck but people have hearts too, they want you to live. I want you to live. I care about you. Thats weird right? Youre thinking 'this guy doesn't even know me really and he cares about me? Weirdo' I may be weird but I care about you without really knowing because I understand the feelings youre talking about. I think we all here in this community understand what youre going through.
Your title of your post, spoke to me. Because i feel the exact same. I, myself, need to get help, and I will. I need support to get help, if that makes sense. I have a friend who i told about my depression and suicidal thoughts. She told me, im just trying to make myself feel down. Depression doesnt work like that. She doesnt understand, hell, i dont even understand. I just know, when your depression takes over. Everythingggggg sucksssss. That bastard depression, makes you feel like no one cares about you. Makes you feel like a failure when something bad happens. Youre amazing, and you dont know it.
So i have a request for you.
Im 23 years old. And i want/need your support. Will you help me? Because ill help you with whatever you need. I support you, new friend.
My name is Eric and I'm pleased to meet you.
Anger gets the energy going. Then you can move up to Irritation. Then to Annoyance. Eventually toward feeling Neutral - which is so much better than how you feel right now.
Another very effective trick is to stop thought. Your thoughts have an inertia, very strong one, toward the negative. It's like a big train, and you can't suddenly reverse a big train chomping down the tracks. However, you can remove the train entirely.
Meditation teaches you to stop thinking. In absence of thought, you don't have ANY thought. All your demons leave.
IMO the most effective form of meditation is practice of martial arts. However, there are others.