Today i am so blah- i can't seem to get going... been falling asleep on and off all day- which is not good considering i have a 1 and a half year old that i'm supposed to be watching... everytime i close my eyes i see the man who took my heart and ripped it out- and so sleep doesn't come easy i mean i am tired and i eventually pass out- but i can't stay asleep - been up for about two weeks now - running on 15 mins of sleep at a time and waking up when i hear any noise at all- the ac/heating unit kicking on/ the wind/ rain/cats / dogs- u name it and i'm awake and then i can't get back to sleep so i turn on the tv and watch it til i pass out again- dreams of my ex torture me- they have happened everynight since we broke up and its like my heart is being ripped out all over again - everynight... i need sleep before i crack- but i don't want to take pills cause i know i would get addicted- and then i'd be tempted to overdose- does anyone have any suggestions? i'm so stressed and tired right now and i'm trying to hide these bags under my eyes and drinking lots of coffee- but how long can i go on like this? its been a year so far on and off- mostly on- never thought sleep would mean so much to me - i used to say my motto was - i'll sleep when i'm dead - but right now i think i could sleep for about 3 days straight and then i'd be ok- but oddly i think i'd be more tired.... i don't even know what i'm saying anymore- i'm just babbling- anyways gonna go put the dishes in the washer and make some coffee and i'll be back... later gators....... anyone else wanna join me ?
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