Jacklyn, It sounds like you suffer from SAD, seasonal affective disorder. I also suffer from that, it is caused by lack of sunshine. I have gotten myself a really good sun lamp, & it does help. Also, I recently started taking glutamine 1000 mg, & that has helped immensely. Be sure to check with your doctor first to make sure it is ok for you to take it. I also take magnesium, selenium, B12, & plenty of Vitamin D3..I too, can feel within 1 hour of waking up if it's going to be a bad, dark day. I pray ALOT, & try to make myself get out of the house, even just to go get a soda or something. Interaction with other people seems to help me too. I have isolated myself for weeks before, & that made it worse. I hope you start feeling better today. ((hugs)) Nancy

It sounds like SAD to me too. If I have too many days without bright sunshine I have trouble functioning. I'm lucky I live in the south but the winters can have days of dark skies with no sun. Research SAD and see what you think.

jaclyn, so sorry to hear your suffering so badly.
I wish there was something I could do, but know that we are here for you.
there are days when I can handle things with no issues, and then like this past week or so..... not so well.
I know SAD can be very tough. I love this time of year, I love the fall, but I know what is ahead.
I really push myself to eat right and exercise as a means to help me get through the dark days.
I hope you find comfort soon.

You could be right about the SAD. I've thought of it before and my therapist asked me, but I really dint think it was an issue. Could be, though. I will check in to it.

Of course, this time of year is hard anyway.
October is the month of my marriage and receiving the final divorce papers.
My mother died suddenly in November and my dad immediately went in to dementia. I spent almost all of November and did spend all of that December dealing with everything that needed to be done for my dad's care.
December is Christmas which i loathe and have loathed for years. It's just...I hate hate hate it. Always a tough time to get through.
January is when my dad died.
So all of that comes in to play quite a bit.

I understand where you are coming from. This is a bad time for me as well. The days are getting shorter and colder weather is coming. I live alone and have little contact with anyone. I am alone far too much of the time. Everyone has their own things going on and their own families. I don't initiate contact with anyone and noone bothers with me. I have been depressed for yrs. but usually was able to get by but for the past 8 months I have felt really bad. I lost someone to suicide and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I just wish I would die sometimes. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I am just tired of living. I have no desire to live anymore. I have noone who really knows how I feel. I can only be honest with people on these support groups. I wish people on these groups lived near me.

I went back to bed today. Not something I do ever, but today is so hard. I hate that downward slope. Always wondering how far I will slide this time. I hope for you the day brightens and the hill levels off. And you might want to try more light if the dark days of the year bother you. They sell "happy lights" which simulate sunlight, expensive, or just fluorescent lighting I've noticed helps. My husband won't let me use more than 60 watts bulbs he says they are too dangerous. He doesn't know how much that makes my life worse in the dark months.