Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I hate it when this happens... when I can feel myself spiraling down again... and I know there is not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
I maintain a positive attitude as best I can.
I tell myself over and over that I am not going to let it happen this time. I'll stop it before I hit the bottom. But I know it will happen. There's nothing I can do.
It starts with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It sometimes lasts days or weeks. So far, it's been a couple of days.
Then comes the fighting back random tears. Sometimes it lasts days or weeks.
Then it hits full on... the sleepless nights, the tossing and turning, the angry outbursts and irritability, the inability to concentrate or focus on anything, the resentment, the self-hatred......
Why can't I stop it from happening? I don't want to deal with this again. I've dealt with it enough. I'd been doing so damn well!!!! I was, once again, convinced I had overcome this illness...... why do I keep doing this to myself? I get to the point where I am doing so well that my depression seems a distant memory... I begin to question whether it was ever real.... I begin to believe I have overcome it, or it was never as bad as I remembered..... but then... it hits me again....
....it starts with that sinking feeling in my stomach
I maintain a positive attitude as best I can.
I tell myself over and over that I am not going to let it happen this time. I'll stop it before I hit the bottom. But I know it will happen. There's nothing I can do.
It starts with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It sometimes lasts days or weeks. So far, it's been a couple of days.
Then comes the fighting back random tears. Sometimes it lasts days or weeks.
Then it hits full on... the sleepless nights, the tossing and turning, the angry outbursts and irritability, the inability to concentrate or focus on anything, the resentment, the self-hatred......
Why can't I stop it from happening? I don't want to deal with this again. I've dealt with it enough. I'd been doing so damn well!!!! I was, once again, convinced I had overcome this illness...... why do I keep doing this to myself? I get to the point where I am doing so well that my depression seems a distant memory... I begin to question whether it was ever real.... I begin to believe I have overcome it, or it was never as bad as I remembered..... but then... it hits me again....
....it starts with that sinking feeling in my stomach
((huggs))
Here's to hoping I manage to battle this one off before it really begins......
They key is to be diligent with countering the negative thoughts....and also to find a focus that is good for you......something different....even if only temporarily.
{{{{many hugs}}}}
When I am too far into it to do the positive self-talk, affirmations, thought record,etc., I can usually still get into some kind of project that consumes my mind enough to flood out the negative thoughts. At least for the time that I am doing it.
Sleeplessness is the worst. The longer I go without sleep, the more negative my thoughts get. It is helpful for me to get sleeping pills and take as many as I have to to get some sleep. But probably a bad idea if you are suicidal.
Are there any triggers for your depression that you are aware of? I hope you find a way of turning your thoughts around and get back to feeling good.
I'm doing pretty good today. The sinking feeling has kind of subsided, and I think I should be able to handle this. I'm staying positive and I am making sure I recognize irrational thoughts before they do any damage. I think that is the key factor.
Opalanne - there doesn't seem to be any specific triggers that get me, but I have picked up on the fact that it usually starts with some event, comment, or evaluation that makes me feel inadequate in some way. The day the sinking feeling kicked in this time I had had my attention drawn to a very stupid mistake on my behalf at work. I was very upset by this mistake, because it truly was one that there was NO excuse for - it happened because I failed to take due care, to write things down, and to double check before putting the project away. I felt very stupid, very inadequate, and very very angry and disappointed with myself. Other times, it has been triggered by things such as a break up, a falling out with a friend, a poor grade, unemployment / underemployment, etc etc - things that make me feel inadequate or unproductive. Especially when they are things that I feel I have no excuse for - I mean, making mistakes that I am smart enough not to make. When I feel disappointed in myself, this is one of the most dangerous feelings I can have, and I would be well to avoid such feelings as best I can. I think the only worse thing I can feel than self-disappointment would be feeling that my parents are disappointed in me.
Thank you to everyone who replied on this thread - you have given me much to think about.