Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I am holding on

dc87110
dc87110

I am holding on to the little bit of relief that I can muster. A situation that has been going on for a few years still gets me into the mix of feelings I dont like. I am at a loss in this situation. I have been said to be codependant and to some extent I am. I have tried to shake these feelings and move forward a bit and then I see the EX and they return. Yes it is about the temulcious & dysfunctional realationship we have had, before the divorce and after. I tried like to believe that i am doing the right thing by nelping her because I am a compassionate and caring man. But it just makes me feel guilty, sad, lonely, and angry at myself. I cant seperate the emotions. its just one big blob of hurt and remorse and sadness, dispair, and the lonliness is unbearable. God Please help me


 God i cannot contiinue. I am sad, depressed and lonely. I thought that me helping her would make my making amends gain closure. but all it does is make me depressed because I cant continue.


I get so confused that I cannot think. It affects other aspects of my life.

dc87110
dc87110
But the good news is I got the truck working again. A small victory. It runs but a few more parts cosmetic parts wont be going back on just yet. I still need to get a door lock, and the covers for the steering colum on. But she runs for now.
Minidogs2
Minidogs2
It sounds like it would be much better for you to not see her and definitely not spend time helping her with something. Once you are divorced, you need to separate mentally and emotionally and make progress dying to the feelings of being connected to her. Don't torture yourself. It's unbelievably hard anyway. You can care about her, want the best for her and still have no contact with her.
Gladdmatt
Gladdmatt
I am sorry and sad for you. Do you have kids together? If not, IMHO it may be best for you to take a breather from her for at least awhile. One day at a time, as they say. Maybe you''ll be able to be her friend in the future but if today you can't, be kind and gentle with yourself, and try to do things that minimize your depression. A therapist once had me make a list of things I like about myself and that I enjoy doing. I'm not perfect by any means, but trying to focus on those things enables me to feel ok and sometimes actually good. When I even start thinking about certain people, let alone see them, whammo, I am super-depressed. I'll pray for you.
dc87110
dc87110
Yes, we do have kids and they are all well of age. Amazingly enough, even though I drank a lot of beer and eventually joined AA & her gastric bypass surgery complications that led to her become addicted to pain pills. The kids actually have a better handle about this this I do. And for the record she is in recovery and is no longer using. I myself have a difficult time just saying NO. Why I don't know. That is one more reason I am in therapy. My med Dr says I have abandonment issues??? maybe to some extent I do. ..
etcetera
etcetera
hmmmmm.............