Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am a 42 yr.old female. I started drinking when I was about 30. I started out drinking the 1.5 liters of box wine and ended up drinking about 2 to 3 boxes of wine a week. In the last couple of years I have switched to Vodka. I drink about 2 to 3 bottles of vodka a week or more. I only drink in the evenings or on the weekends. I always drink at home by myself. I have always been depressed and have severe anxiety. Most of my family are alcoholics . My dad died of liver cancer when he was 54 about 11 years ago. I am also bulimic for about 10 years now. My health is going down hill fast and I feel out of control and don't know if I have the energy or motivation to do something. I feel that know one cares. I know it's my fault for pushing everyone away, and I have never asked for help. I have drank and have done drugs in the past but always overcame. I don't feel like I can go on . I'm slowly killing myself and don't know if their is a way out. Anyway I just had to vent. I have never mentioned my bulimia before. I know my husband knows about it. Also my mom is severely depressed and my close cousin just committed suicide a couple of weeks ago and my mom lost it and told my sister that she has thought about ending it so many times. Ugh. I hate drama and don't want to cause anymore. I live in a small town where people talk. I keep to myself and don't have any friends. Sorry wow! I think I could go on and on. Ive buried everything for so long and don't know where to start.
The thing is...you are hurting and you deserve to get help with that so that you can feel better, so that your marriage and family can get better, so that your life can be better. I'm sure you worry about your Mom and cousins...but sometimes you have to think about YOU. You can't help anyone if your down at the bottom of the barrel too depressed to deal with life or anything in it.
I don't know what your relationship with your husband is like but if he's got strength that you tap into, then do so. You need to get help with your alcohol problem. Tackling one problem at a time will help you get life in prospective and help you to heal your wounds as you go. I'm sure there are many people who care about you.
If you have a Therapist that could help you perhaps get into a program that would be great. If not, can you find an AA meeting in your area that can help you stop your drinking. Once the drinking has stopped then you can truly gauge how bad the depression is. Then going to a Therapist to help you manage those feelings and learn coping skills and tools to deal with the feelings would put you on the road to healing.
I hope that you find strength to do what's right for you and get the help you need. If you need to talk feel free to message me.