Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

You saw it through. Kudos.
but it's clearly not meant to be. Looks like you're going to have to just find a way to live, because the gods are not smiling on your attempts at joining them.
Perhaps they do not think it's your time.