Im sorry to hear about what you're going through. While my spouse doesn't suffer from depression, I do. It has taken me a while to try and see how my depression affects her. There is a really good article that helped me. Especially the part about how much energy being depressed takes. http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/living-with/things-didnt-know-about-depression/

I know how much I've put my wife through and I recommend researching what it like living with a depressed spouse AND how my depression affects my spouse. For me, it was important to try and see this from both of our views. And while this won't be a "fix", it might help.

Oh Wow!!! Am I glad to hear from you. My husband has suffered with depression for the whole 40 years we have been married. The past two or three years it's been worse. So bad that about a year ago when he went to the doctor just for a regular checkup and bloodwork, his doctor called me at work and asked if he had a gun. He's tried several antidepressants but he thinks most of them make him worse. Now he is taking Prozac. I think it's helped in some ways. He doesn't burst into tears out of the blue but now he just seems to sit and stare a lot like he has something on his mind all the time. There is no joy in him at all. Seventeen years ago he left for over a year. He was having an affair with a younger girl. He finally came back home but admitted that he really didn't want to but couldn't afford to keep up two houses. He never asked for a divorce and I didn't want one so I didn't ask for one. Things are better between us now but it has never been the way it was. He just seems so unhappy. We don't have children together but he has a wonderful daughter and four grandchildren that love him dearly. He hates family get togethers or being around anybody. My family was a close family growing up and I was used to getting together and having good times. We never go anywhere. He hates eating out. Doesn't want to spend the money. He retired at 59 1/2 .He played golf for years but has given that up. He would always come home mad. Has no patience and always seems angry and bitter. I love him so much and it hurts to see him hurt. He won't see anyone except his regular internal medicine doctor. I think he has tried to get him to see someone but he won't and he won't go back to him and try to get a medicine that really works for him. He has told him that it is clinical depression. He's really bad about taking something for awhile and either thinks it's not working or thinking he's better and just stops taking his meds. I am worried about that too as I know that that's dangerous too and it has some bad side effects. I am 68 and he is 76. Our life is slipping away and there is no joy in our life. I am glad to have others to share this with.

May I make a suggestion for you ladies. It's very obvious y'all care about your husband'still happiness and we'll being but I believe y'all are focused too much on them and not enough on yourselves. Bottom line they are responsible for their own happiness and mental health issues. You can't help them if they don't help. It would be better if you turn your focus more on yourselves. Maybe seek therapy someone who can help you understand better but also help you cope. Find an creative outlet for yourselves. If hubby wants to sit around and be unhappy doesn't mean you have to wait for his happiness to turn on to have fun. Take care of yourselves give him over to God. Best wishes.