Hello,
It's never easy to walk away from a cruel person, no matter your age.
Dealing with the disappointment is difficult. This person used to be your friend, you had the right to expect some things, such as respect, from them. Then, walking away means given up on receiving apologies, on hope of your friendship being reborn. There's no shame on having difficulties doing it.

What can help is focusing on other people who aren't cruel, because there are lots of people who aren't. Also, you don't have to feel guilty about letting go : this person brought it upon themselves, and they can't expect you to just accept how they treat you and to forget to take care of yourself.

It might be easier to walk away "slowly", distancing yourself more and more until you're not close enough to be called friends. This way, you avoid "confronting the person". However, it takes time, you're never really sure if the other person still sees you as a friend or not, and they never get what made you distance yourself. That's why I think a direct "confrontation" may be better.

I hope this helps a bit, and that it'll go well !

Yes. Thank you. It helps. I need to do something to put it out of mind. Wallowing is not helping anything.

There is no walking away slowly. The confrontation happened and the bandaid was ripped off swiftly.

She had not followed through on plans multiple times apologized then did it all over again. I was tired of getting blown off or forgotten. When I called her on it she said "would you want to have lunch with you?" Man. That hurt. I also got the "the world revolves around you" or "it's all about you" when I point these things out. Two people have done this in the past month. Either everyone I know is shitty or I'm a selfish asshole.

I think you had every right to confront her about not following through on plans, you weren't being selfish. What's selfish is caring so little about how it makes you feel to be ditched on and insulted. She focused on the fact that you called her out on it, on herself, not on your friendship.

Two people saying you're selfish doesn't mean you are. To be honest, people tend to throw that "insult" whenever they're asked to justify themselves or to forget about themselves a little (everyone's a bit self-absorbed). It doesn't really mean much, most of the time.
I think that, if you truly were a selfish asshole, you wouldn't have any problem walking away from a friendship that's not good for you.

I am in the exact same position, same crap everytime, ask her about it and she laughs, she just doesn't care about anything, all I can do is start taking better care of myself, try to make some better friends, people who care.

I have had the same thing happen to me a number of times. It is very frustrating and hurtful. If I say something, I just get brushed off like I am supposed to understand. These people are not the kind of friend I feel I can trust. I know what you are going through.

I guess it's all about healthy boundaries....I'd say that saying something intentionally hurtful is a good boundary. And so I walk away. Looking back I thought her wishy washy plan making and follow through was just a bit of flakiness and it turns out she straight up didn't like me but pretended to anyway. There is no repairing this and no amount of sorry could let me trust her again. I thought we had a connection in that we both came from abusive relationships but she seems to have turned abuser and I have not.
I encourage those of you who responded here saying you have experienced this to honor your boundaries.

I am still a young adult, only 19 years old. My family likes to take vacations each year and we go on cruises a lot. Well, we went on one right after I finished 8th grade. I met this girl in the little club for kids my age and we clicked from the start. We became good friends, and kept in touch for nearly 5 years now (she lives in a different state as me, but we made it all work). She'd come down to visit as much as she could, and she is also a year younger than me, so I graduated high school in 2016 and she just graduated last month. Well, I introduced her to a boy who was in my graduating class with me when she was in town one time, and they started talking. Turns out about a year goes by of them talking, and they become official. And in this year, I start to see her put him before me... and they weren't even OFFICIAL yet! I invited for her to come to my senior prom with me, she was a junior at the time of course, but it was able to be done. She flew down and stayed with me... but of course the person she went with was this boy I introduced her to, To this day, I get no credit for anything that happened between them. The fact that they wouldn't be dating, had it not been for me. The fact that I still did so much for her, and she texts me out of pity now to pretend to show that she still cares about me. But I know she doesn't. She's put him above me now. Her and her boyfriend did her senior year of high school long distance, and now she will be moving into our state for college. So she'll be a lot closer to him. But I even took her senior pictures for her before her senior year of high school, and she posts a ton of them and uses captivating captions (ha, punny) but never gives me credit for any of them... at all. And I took a very good amount of pictures of her. Let her borrow some of my clothes for outfit changes, and I took her to different locations. One of the pictures that I took of her, she used on her invitation to her graduation. I just couldn't believe it when I received it in the mail, and showed it to my mother saying "I took this picture". I ended up not being able to go, thankfully, since at this point I decided she doesn't care about me anymore. She came to my graduation... but we all know the real reason that she did was to see her future boyfriend of the time graduate and hangout with him while she was in town. That was the thing: she'd continuously come to "visit" me over the summer, but for the most part, be with him. So I was used. Taken advantage of so so much and just realized it too late. She didn't even get me a legitimate graduation gift. She wrote me a card and gave me a fridge magnet from the state she lives in. I had the courage to send her a gift card to her favorite fast food restaurant and apologize for not being able to make her graduation because I left town to visit my boyfriend of long distance and was going to miss it. But still. Ever since, hardly any talking. And when she does text me, you can tell by the things that she says and the way it comes off in my head that she could care less. She chooses to text me to "check up" on me while she's with her boyfriend, so she's happy-go-lucky at the time and probably thinks it's a good time to see what I'm up to. I'm tired of putting up with it, with her, and with her boyfriend who took my best friend of nearly 5 years away from me, who was sewn to my hip with me. I'll hopefully let it go in a few years, but since I'm still in the process of dropping her and distancing myself from her, it'll be a while before I can put this behind me. Best of luck though, I just wanted for you to know that I can relate in a similar situation.

Ive been pushed down and kicked in the leg a lot of times while I was growing up.....Have also had my long red hair pulled and knocked upside the head by too many sick bf. However....Hell hath no fury now like a 56 yr old woman that has been thru it and will put up with it no more. Been mean girl free for 25 years now.

mindlost I'm sorry to say that what happened with you and this girl will happen again and again in your lifetime. I have been guilty of it too. I'm involved in a serious relationship again and I spend less time with friends but I don't neglect my friendships like I did when I was younger. Live and learn. It probably doesn't help to know that she's probably not doing something on purpose to hurt you because it still hurts.

SuyB I guess I'm still working on that. :o)
I put up with less than I did in the past. My friend pool is shrinking now. It's quality over quantity. Why would I hang out with someone who has such an openly low opinion of me? Beyond me why they ever had anything to do with me. If I don't connect with or don't respect or like someone I do not choose to be around them. Seems kind of logical!?

i'd say move on,focus on yourself and there are other nice people out there,you have indeed tried a lot to resolve the dispute but too no avail,.....walking away doesn't mean you are weak,but stronger to know you are a better person..
being mean doesn't mean you are strong but foolish.....someday that action will be regretted.

To be intentional to hurt someone...I just think people that do that don't regret.
I don't think they give a shit quite frankly. Anyway...a few days have gone by now and I'm fine. My anxiety etc means I ruminate about this and other things (I have a repertoire) but I'm not weeping about it anymore. Thanks for taking the time to chime in.

You have processed your feelings. That's great! Asking, "What AM I feeling?" is often the first step. When saying, "I feel unloved or disrespected", then, understanding I can only change myself, and not the other person, I try to look for healthy alternatives to cope. Some are journaling, helping someone else, praying, surrounding myself with, as you said, "quality" friends and family, and reading books supporting "I am enough". Hope you continue to find your healthy alternatives! Blessings!