Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello all:
I'll try to make this as simple as possible.
I've had a friend; we'll call her Wendy for anonymity's sake. Her and I have been friends for years. She considered me as part of her family and always reassured me that nothing would ever part us. She was one of the most true friends I've ever had.
One day, a few of years ago, Wendy came to me with a problem. Her and her husband were going to be evicted from their home and they were in a real financial crunch. The two of them asked for a loan from me.
I had the means of loaning them $5000. She expressed how grateful she was to me. I had them sign a promisory note for formality's sake.
Two years passed and I received a payment of $1000. Another year passes without another payment. I asked about it every so often, also letting them know that I didn't expect a huge payment, just small payments would do.
One day, about a month ago, I received a heated call from Wendy's husband. He said that he has "heard rumors" about me, but would say what it was. But either way I was never going to see my $4000 dollars, much less these friends, ever again. They have moved and changed phone numbers and email addresses. Wendy even has an account on this site, and has removed me as a friend.
I've come to accept that I won't see the money again, but what hurts most is that I was never told what rumor was said about me, especially one that would have me ex-communicated. Every day since I got that angry call I have been torn up inside that someone that once considered me a brother, would drop me like a hat.
I don't know how to move on in this situation. Every day I think of her and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If anyone here has suggestions/advice/etc, it would be much appreciated. I just don't know how to move on and forget about it.
I hope this doesn't come off as trivial. I valued this friendship more than any I've ever had since my mother passed away. I'm simply heartbroken.
I'll try to make this as simple as possible.
I've had a friend; we'll call her Wendy for anonymity's sake. Her and I have been friends for years. She considered me as part of her family and always reassured me that nothing would ever part us. She was one of the most true friends I've ever had.
One day, a few of years ago, Wendy came to me with a problem. Her and her husband were going to be evicted from their home and they were in a real financial crunch. The two of them asked for a loan from me.
I had the means of loaning them $5000. She expressed how grateful she was to me. I had them sign a promisory note for formality's sake.
Two years passed and I received a payment of $1000. Another year passes without another payment. I asked about it every so often, also letting them know that I didn't expect a huge payment, just small payments would do.
One day, about a month ago, I received a heated call from Wendy's husband. He said that he has "heard rumors" about me, but would say what it was. But either way I was never going to see my $4000 dollars, much less these friends, ever again. They have moved and changed phone numbers and email addresses. Wendy even has an account on this site, and has removed me as a friend.
I've come to accept that I won't see the money again, but what hurts most is that I was never told what rumor was said about me, especially one that would have me ex-communicated. Every day since I got that angry call I have been torn up inside that someone that once considered me a brother, would drop me like a hat.
I don't know how to move on in this situation. Every day I think of her and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If anyone here has suggestions/advice/etc, it would be much appreciated. I just don't know how to move on and forget about it.
I hope this doesn't come off as trivial. I valued this friendship more than any I've ever had since my mother passed away. I'm simply heartbroken.
You are the one who is hurting so much, it sounds as if they don't have much of a conscience.
Would it help if you stop seeing your hurt so much and think about what goes around comes around?
If you can let the money aspect go, realise that true friends would never not repay a debt, no matter what.
Realise you don't need friends like that, perhaps you can start looking to moving forwards.
Beating yourself up about it, will not bring them or your money back.
We learn by our mistakes. Not everyone is like they are.
I hope you find peace soon.
By the way, I love your Patsy Stone avatar!
THEY OWE YOU THE MONEY. What a bunch of BS
I think you should follow Lissa's advice. They owe you that money and an explanation. They are the ones who chose not to be your friend so you owe them nothing. THEY owe you.
He should have at least told you what rumours, because if they were untrue then the situation would be different. I think anyone deserves an explanation in those situations.
The way I try/do get over things that really bother me is try not to think about them too much and focus o the friends and positive things that are still in my life, and make sure I keep them close. It wouldn't be wise to look other good aspects of your life because you're dwelling on the past, as hard as it can be sometimes.
I'd just say give all your attention into the things still in your life that you enjoy and treasure most. They will make you feel better about yourself knowing that you have't lost your whole life.
I hope things improve dear!
And yes, I think the rumor situation is just a cop-out to not pay me back.
You all have made me feel much more peaceful about it. I need to rid myself of that anger and hurt; and you all have helped.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your input has made me feel a lot more secure about this.