Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
The past 18-19 months have been the hardest for me. September 2013, I was in a head on collision due to a driver running a red light. I was taken by ambulance with a broken leg & contusions and was out of work for 3 months. My mother had to take care of me like I was a toddler because I was unable to care for myself. Once I was slowly healing, my mom passed away in January 2014. I was devastated. I am still heartbroken but not as much. My family tried to keep each other's heads up by staying positive. By May 2014, my mom's oldest sister, my aunt passed away. We are a tight nit family and that was very difficult also. Dealing with the top matriarchs of our family and dealing with lawyers and post traumatic stress from my car accident, I fell into a deep depression. I just wanted life to go back the way it was. By autumn I found out I needed knee surgery due to the accident and found myself having nervous breakdowns every weekend. My mom & my eldest aunt was always there to give tough love. By November, I was starting to feel a little better on life and decided to go back to school to obtain my degree. I just turned 30 and figured this opportunity would be great and keep my mind occupied. By February 2015, my uncle, my mom's only brother passed away and I fell into depression again. Last month, my paternal grandmother passed away. I feel frightened like I'm losing my family. I battled the pain with alcohol, marijuana and painkillers but I realized after they've gone through my body, I'm still hurting. I took the current school semester off and continue to battle with depression & anxiety. I was given Lexapro and Klonopin but my body has built a tolerance to them. I pray every now and then but it feels like as soon as things get better, something bad will happen. How can I be positive and move forward from these tragedies?
My mother and sister are gone, and my dad is slipping. Nobody really goes to my dad anymore for advice like they used to.
It is hard to become one of the new matriarchs or patriarchs in the family; but we have to do it. We don't really replace those who came before us, we work with the other elders in our family and tend to sort out the functions as best we can. Sometimes it is spoke, other times it is not.
Many years ago I saw a wonderful play called "Stop The World". The lead actor (played by Sammy Davis Junior when I saw it) married into a family and the play chronicles his life as he shifted from getting advice to giving advice. He never stopped getting advice from his father in law, but at the end it was him speaking to his FIL in the beyond.
You can continue to speak to your mother and aunt in your heart. If you are religious you may find this easier. Ask yourself what they would do. From what you have written it sounds like you will know what they would have said. All that is left then is to follow that advice.
I am so sorry for all your losses, it is never easy.
Gentle hugs