The past 18-19 months have been the hardest for me. September 2013, I was in a head on collision due to a driver running a red light. I was taken by ambulance with a broken leg & contusions and was out of work for 3 months. My mother had to take care of me like I was a toddler because I was unable to care for myself. Once I was slowly healing, my mom passed away in January 2014. I was devastated. I am still heartbroken but not as much. My family tried to keep each other's heads up by staying positive. By May 2014, my mom's oldest sister, my aunt passed away. We are a tight nit family and that was very difficult also. Dealing with the top matriarchs of our family and dealing with lawyers and post traumatic stress from my car accident, I fell into a deep depression. I just wanted life to go back the way it was. By autumn I found out I needed knee surgery due to the accident and found myself having nervous breakdowns every weekend. My mom & my eldest aunt was always there to give tough love. By November, I was starting to feel a little better on life and decided to go back to school to obtain my degree. I just turned 30 and figured this opportunity would be great and keep my mind occupied. By February 2015, my uncle, my mom's only brother passed away and I fell into depression again. Last month, my paternal grandmother passed away. I feel frightened like I'm losing my family. I battled the pain with alcohol, marijuana and painkillers but I realized after they've gone through my body, I'm still hurting. I took the current school semester off and continue to battle with depression & anxiety. I was given Lexapro and Klonopin but my body has built a tolerance to them. I pray every now and then but it feels like as soon as things get better, something bad will happen. How can I be positive and move forward from these tragedies?
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