Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
my husband recently lost his aunt. its been quite a few months now, but his depression has been hitting him harder recently. hes been acting distant and he was even thinking of ditching me during vacation this week and staying home.i can understand feeling depressed and feeling grief because i went through and am still sort of going through it. but i never once pushed him away, all i wanted to do was be with him, he was the only thing that made me happy during my time and still now. i understand everyone handles things differently and that there is no way to properly handle grief or depression, but when i was dealing with it myself my world wasnt allowed to stop. i had to keep working and going to school, but he wants his to stop, he wants to ditch me and be alone. its a very hard pill to swallow when all i want is attention from my husband who is supposed to love me and all i want is to love him and try and make him feel better. im just not sure how to handle his mood swings, negative thoughts and his distance. he finally admitted he is the problem and may need to see someone for it, but who knows when that will happen. i just want my husband back.
In the meantime, are you getting any help, like counseling? I've been telling my mom she should do it, maybe it'll help you and her cope with husbands who need help but are too stubborn to get it.
Has your husband had any problems with depression before? Because there's a difference between grieving and depression and he seems to be in a full blown Uni-Polar Depression. Getting one's spouse through that is also quite different. Letting him just sit and turn into a vegetable should be the first thing to go. If he's not willing to get up and start making small changes on his own each day, you need to call your Primary Doc and get a number for a good Therapist who deals in grief. And then you need to make him an appointment and drive him there over and over again until he's made enough progress that he can take himself and you can actually believe that he's going. You don't want to let this depression develop any deeper, trust me as a BiPolar w/Suicidal Depression, the further you sink into it, the harder it is to get out of it.
There are things you can do at home. Vit. D is a natural anti-depressant for Depression. So he can either go for 2 15 minute walks in the sun each day and soak up some much needed Vit. D, or take a Vit. D supplement, 3000 iu would be about right.
I know its very, very hard but try not to compare your symptoms and issues that you had when you dealt with your loss with his. Everyone processes loss in their own way.
I would make getting him to a Pdoc (psychiatrist) or Tdoc (psychologist) a priority.
Hang in there.
OCP
The fact that he states that he may need to see somebody is a HUGE step! Do what ever you can to let him know what those options are. Check your insurance to see what options you have, find therapists/doctors and get the ball rolling.
Look at it his way; if he were in an accident and injured you would get him to a hospital. He has an emotional injury (his aunt dying) that he is not able to process, so get him the emotional equivalent of "to the hospital ER" so he can start healing.
HAVE U TRIED MARITAL COUNCELING?
GBU
D
;-O