I would not have to get 'well' to get out of a toxic situation. It may be hard but if it is toxic ... get out of it, ... THEN get well.

Actually, you must love yourself before you can have love of any kind ... that lasts.

There are books on loving yourself. It is crucial for happiness.

Sweetheart,

I Was In A Toxic "Friendship" With Someone For A Very long Time.
Almost Twenty Years. The Worse My Depression Got The Worse He Verbally Abused Me. He Ran Me Into The Ground With His Hateful Words.

It Became A Part Of My Daily Life.
I Know Now That We Were Never, Ever Friends.
He Just Latched On To Me Because He Saw That I Was Weak And Helpless. Hurting Me Made Him Feel Better About Himself.

I Needed To Eliminated Him From My Life Completely.
It Was Not Easy Because He Is My Next Door Neighbor!! We Couldn't Move Away, And I Didn't Want To. I Love Our House.


But I Got Away From Him. He Still Occasionally Tries To Invade My Life.
But I Will Never Allow Him The Opportunity To Hurt Me Again.
Please, No Matter How Impossible It May Seem Right Now, Please Get Away From Whoever Is Hurting You.

And Sweetheart, You Are Greatly Loved :) By Me And Many, MANY Others :)

Sending You The Biggest (((((((HUGS))))))) Extra Love And Lots And Lots Of Strength And Hope

I have felt what you have felt hundreds of times. I've had many toxic friendships that sucked the life out of me. I've spent years in the therapists office trying to understand my own worth, I've read books and books trying to understand that I have value. It takes time, and hard work to get there.

WanderingVet is right, get out of the toxic situation, and then get well. Find help wherever you can, someone to talk to, books to read, therapy, whatever works for you.

After many years of therapy, I recognized the need to do something big to take care of myself. I couldn't find the answers at home, and so I left my life to have the chance to take care of myself. I traveled 10,000 miles away from home, on my own, in search of my own answers. I experienced things that changed my entire perspective. Not everyone has this kind of opportunity, but everyone has to find something that will work for them to be able to heal, grow and find peace.

I hope you are able to find what works for you. You will be ok! *hugs*

what is it that you feel you lack that would make you unlovable to someone. I already answered some of this question for myself but just like flowers in a garden we need to tend to ourselves so that we may flourish and feel the love within us so it may be projected onto others.