Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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scalliwag 01/13/2019

Hello everyone I hope you are having a good night. I would love your thoughts on this...My partner is at the tail end of a series of extremely stressful life circumstances and events which have spanned the past few years. A 27 year marriage breakdown, depression anxiety, chronic back pain and PTSD from childhood and toxic workplace. He has gone from an executive level job to unemployed. He feel detached from his kids and is yet to settle properties with his estranged wife so housing stability is in the air. We are booked to go overseas on a holiday in 10 weeks for 1 month. It is his lifelong dream. However right now he is self isolating and isolating himself from me, he is extremly fragile and negative. We cant spend more than a few hours together and he wants to go home to be by himself whereas I just want to be with him eventhough his negativity brings me down! He keeps trying to sabotage our relationship by running away. He admits to that. I listen to him, stand up for him, give him thoughtful gifts, show him affection, make spending time with him my first priority. He does everything he can for me. Right now he has backed off again preffering to be by himself. He keeps doing this so I just let him be. I still msg him every day to check in but if he wants to be alone I let him be alone. I love him but I dont know if this is going to work out. Eventhough when circumstances are improving, his depression and anxiety doesnt.

Deckard 01/13/2019

I just have to say, he is really lucky to have you to be a caring person. Hang in there. I hope he stops isolating.

mlj6019 01/14/2019

This must be very frustrating for you not knowing how to help him other than to be encouraging which I can see you are. I’m sure deep down he has to be very appreciative for you. Would he be opened to seeking a therapist who could get to the root of what is going on deep inside? It does seem to me now would be a good time before he completely cuts off all communication with you and everyone else. He has a mountain in front of him and he can’t climb it or go around it alone. There is hope on the other side and I truly hope he is able to see that and seeks help soon.

scalliwag 01/14/2019

Thankyou so much for your replys:). Yes he has a therapist and psychiatrist but still seems to just be treading water. He is very appreciative of me I know....I will hang in there and try to get a bit of a life outside of us so its not all about depression.

gatticus 01/14/2019

It seems like you are doing a great job. Better than most people! Keep doing what you're doing, accept him as best you can, and remember to love yourself a lot too.

scalliwag 01/14/2019

Thankyou Gatticus.. its great just to receive confirmation from others that Im doing a good job.

gatticus 01/14/2019

You are! It can be hard to remember sometimes...

baybdots 01/14/2019

you can not help him maybe his meds should be adjusted. You have to live your life You should also seek help you may be an enabler incase you are arenyou not helping him.

WanderingVet 01/15/2019

Sorry to say, it's 99.999% up to him to see a doctor and receive treatment. Until he does,, I suggest you dump him .... seriously.

Bullseye78 01/15/2019

Hi Scalliwag and all D.S Fam. I am in the same boat as he is, minus the ex issues. I am also in isolation mode and always wanna be alone. My husband is like you and do show him that I appreciate all that he does for me and try to be loving back. But it do hard when you feel like this. Money, frustrating situations are not usually the cause. Those are usually just triggers of a very deep feelings and emotions that can be at times, very hard to explain. If you want to even try to explain it, which it doesn't seem like he does. I have gone as far as telling my husband I'm moving out, getting my own place and that he should move on and have sex with another woman since I have no libido and feel guilty in my relationship for it. But he remains loyal. Wanting to help me get better, etc. It's up to you at this point. Sounds like you have to make decisions on staying and seeing him through this or trying to find happiness for you. My husband is like you. Good thing he works 16-18 hours a day and doesn't have to deal with a lot of my shit. Mental Illness is a liar, manipulator, selfish, frustrating and exhausting to anyone. Whether it be the one who has it or the supporters like yourself. I hope you make a good decision for yourself. And I hope he gets better. Many hugs sent your way.

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