Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Numblank 10/17/2017

I cant do shit right. Im 1 of lifes waste of oxygen. I get myself in somewhat dangerous situations. I live day to day. My family suffer. I do think im better off gone. My emotions, thoughts, responsibilty, negativity overwhelm me to much to cope. My mind has made my body hurt.....wtf. my choices are bad. Im reliant on pot. Scared to quit. What do i do? Im scared the damage is already done and this is me forever, suicidal thoughts, extreme sadness, fatigue, anxiety, i dont want to leave my house coz i literally fuck everything up. Cursed since birth. Often gossiped about for being on amphetamine but thats just how high i sore on a "good day" although by the end of said days im exhausted by my darkness again. What the heck is going on? This is it isnt it? I want to move to a safer house. Cant coz i fucked up and must stay. So im not leaving it. If i meltdown when im out....the vulnerability is too much, if im home, i cant fuck up right? Ive been so good then BAM something else crappy happens, i dont cope with it, adds to all my other fuck ups, cant figure out how to fix it so until then, stay in, stay safe

Im on here because im alone in my room. Im likely to stay awake until i feel safe enough to sleep. Its unfair on my family. Ive put them through hell. And i just know im crashing into deep darkness. Ive never written this down. Im not quiet about my mental health, mainly for awareness to make sure its a kinda comfort that i understand. A therapist said im "the rescuer" which puts me in situations that aint the best. Im my own worst enemy. I can only put myself down, lots comment on it, i cant stop, half the time im too busy laughing at myself to realise im doing it. I am a joke. Its all my own doing. Im confused and im not 100% its just depression and anxiety....my meds dont work coz of the weed. Started the weed daily coz i felt the same on the meds. Im on the wrong meds so self medicate like the junkie i feel. How do i stay alive? Live for my kids, do shit even near normal would be cool. I make more wrong choices than good. Im useless bar loving my children. Theyve seen me in states. I think my boy has caught my traits or is mentally fucked like me, because of me. I dont abuse my kids but im trying and failing to better their lives, i just want a house by mountains with no wifi, my kids and dogs. Its a dream i cant reach. We'd be safe there. I need a life detox

suicidal 10/17/2017

Everyone needs a break from life sometimes. I feel the same way, tend to focus on my mistakes, but you have your kids to live for and motivate you to get better. A friend here recently told me I focus on the negative in my life too much and that I should focus more on the positive. I'm trying to, maybe you could do the same.

Numblank 10/18/2017

I'll definitely keep trying that. When im in darkness im irrational and panic myself into making sure things are ok so i can go.....which adds to the darkness coz its not. My kids suffer, its so unfair, i need to fix myself for them. Often feel its a losing battle. Im so confused, lost, exhausted. Hope i do have fight left in me. I need to learn coping techniques

momonthego2019 10/21/2017

Running to the mountains away from the rest of the world and away from the busyness of the world sounds great. It sounds like you may need a different therapist. Next time you contact a therapist, ask them what their therapeutic view is and their techniques and methods of treatment. Don't give up. You are more valuable than you know and not just to your kids. It takes time. Sometimes lots of time but you will get through this.

Numblank 10/22/2017

Thank you. Im hoping i can better my kids lives....my name should be "cant get right"

WanderingVet 10/22/2017

Weed is harmless. Bull shit. Get off and away from it.

Help_me_Jesus 10/22/2017

I agree, try getting off the weed. I have a mental illness and for about two years I was taking medication and smoking marijuana...I believe that is what lead me to where I am now, (not a good place). Marijuana doesn't mix well with a lot of medications and can lead to unknown consequences. Also, maybe try a rehabilitation center, ex. The Salvation Army. I don't know if you already know but there are also dual diagnosis facilities that treat mental illness and the addiction. I pray you start to feel better. Don't give up.

emmastaypositive 10/22/2017

Sometimes I lead myself down that path. Endless negativity. Like the ground shattered beneith me and the hole is too steep to climb out. But one thought builds me stairs that leads out of this hole of thoughts. How can I change this? How can I change the world? If I can help others, then I can do my part in making me. And the world better. Use your struggle and sadness. Use your anxiety. Use your motivation to help yourself help others. And in doing so you can find inner peace. Sometimes we want to escape our awful world. But all we can do now is change it. Try and help others. Try and help you. One thing if you want to escape find a hobby. You don't have to be good at it. Others don't have to like it. As long as it's safe and makes you happy, it is wonderful. It helps the mind escape. For me it is art. I make jewelry. I draw. I play music. It is my mental escape. And maybe find someone to help you quit weed. It seems to only make your situation worse. Lots of love. Know that there are people out there who care for you

Numblank 10/23/2017

Im day 6 of the weed detox. Im lying here sobbing. I really cant find in my mind why im meant to be here. I cause my family so much grief. Im even contemplating giving my dogs away as im struggling to cope with anything. Im stuck in a rut. I like crafts but cant get motivated. My whole body hurts. My mind telling me to go. My kids hugs are telling me to stay

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