Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My best friend broke up with my brother some months ago. He is so angry about everything. He's words are nothing but malice, he was always accusing my friend of cheating on him. (She didn't) We had a hard adolescents, we are both a little broken. He says he wants to talk to me, what he really means is he wants to vent at someone. Someone that will tell him that she is a terrible person. I can't do that. He has driven everyone away, because the won't stop talking what an @$$ hole she is.
When I try to get him to take up a hobby or do something therapeutic; he gets so angry. It's like he wants to stay and stagnant in his despair. I can't give him the constant praise and worship he craves.
He suffers from a bloated sense of self worth and low self esteem. He makes awful threats about killing himself. He's unbelievable thinned skinned. He's even theater to sent our little sister to live with her father. The man who caused us most of our pain when we were younger.
I can't just give up on my brother. I don't know how I can help him.
When I try to get him to take up a hobby or do something therapeutic; he gets so angry. It's like he wants to stay and stagnant in his despair. I can't give him the constant praise and worship he craves.
He suffers from a bloated sense of self worth and low self esteem. He makes awful threats about killing himself. He's unbelievable thinned skinned. He's even theater to sent our little sister to live with her father. The man who caused us most of our pain when we were younger.
I can't just give up on my brother. I don't know how I can help him.
except you.
>>He suffers from a bloated sense of self worth and low self esteem. He makes awful threats about killing himself. He's unbelievable thinned skinned. He's even theater to sent our little sister to live with her father.
Some of this sounds like he needs counseling ... and another suicide threat might get him some .... if handled right. As for younger sister .. does he have custody of her? CAN he 'send her back??????
>>I can't just give up on my brother. I don't know how I can help him.
Sounds to me like you can't help him. He is not open to it.
He has never attempted suicide (thank God), but he threatens and/or heavily implies.
His isn't open to any of this, anything that could help him move forward.
>>His isn't open to any of this, anything that could help him move forward.
Then he is stuck there ... for the time being.
Until they are ready, all we do comes across as nagging.
I am very leery of interventions, but they can work. It is my strong personal opinion that interventions in online communities (like DS) will always fail. As for real life, it is my strong personal opinion that they can only work if you have enough support from the targets life (his/her friends and family) relative to the size of their issues. Any cracks in the alliance can doom the effort, especially if some people are very opposed to the intervention and the advice that is part of it.
The only other "power play" I can think of is going through the legal system. This, once again in my opinion, is only an option when ther person is a danger to themself or another person.
Sooo, navigating these waters is hard. Make him aware of options without being preachy or sounding like a nag.
Gentle hugs, and thank you for caring about your brother.
IMO an family intervention is worth a try.
Reality check stuff. It's your job. How about you start by telling him exactly what you've written here.
He's clearly anxious; fixated and overwrought, brokenhearted and going through the total hate phase. Hopefully it will wear itself out, but you can't do him any harm by letting him talk to you, and by being the voice of gentle reason in there.
Brothers are pains in the neck; but we have to take whatever opportunities present themselves to evolve them a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit. Pigheaded and stubborn, they won't appear to listen to us. But when we go away, they'll think about what we've said.
So we needn't bash too hard at their facade; just get in there, tell it like it is,and get out quick to let them bleed in privacy. :D
Yay family! Yaaaay!
:D :D :D
He really is a sweet guy, but he has a rage inside of him. A rage that he got from our father.
I really just want him to get a hobby. He spent a week doing some work at home and he was in a great mood.
Any suggestions on how to keep him busy?
Give him a note book and some pens. Tell him to
Give him a notebook and a pack of pens and tell him to write it all down....how it makes him feel. Vent to his hearts content......