Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've been struggling with this question for a little while now.
I recently started trying to get myself on track. I was working full-time getting caught up on bills and buying stuff that I needed for the house. Check... I'm in school working on my bachelors so I can finally get a professional high paying job. Check, check... and I made hella doctors appointments so that I can tend to my health. My doctor put me on Prozac, and the first dosage she gave me didn't do anything, so she doubled the dosage and I FELT it. I felt 100 times more confident, I woke up happy almost everyday and although I had insomnia before and after taking the medication, I kinda liked it because that's when I would really work on my schoolwork.
Well, I started confronting the notion of how to legitimately get better so that I can be like this without medication and I was trying to start by increasingly stepping outside of my comfort zone by doing new things, getting out the house a lot more and just having more fun with my family.
But then I hit a stumbling block. I refused to be a doormat, and just stood up for myself at work and got laid off out of vengeance. Now I'm struggling with how I'm going to get income and trying to fight the feelings that are more-strongly-than-before coming on during this period of unemployment. I just SURVIVED two periods of unemployment. The last of which lasted about 9 months. I refuse to go back to that. Yet, I feel myself... my mood lowering and my confidence diminishing and my good moods and moments of happiness come by fewer and fewer.
And the weird thing is... now that I'm on the medication, my sad moments are ten times sadder. So it's harder for me to shake.
I keep telling myself don't think about my problems and think about happy things, and it'll work for a little while, but then I can't muster the strength to do normal stuff like homework or looking for work or taking my son to the park.
I keep telling myself, "go for a walk", "go to the gym".... but I don't do it. I'm trying to fight this internal battle to stop me from locking some part of myself away without a key, but I don't know what to do.
I might just finally make the call to Kaiser to see a psychiatrist, cause I don't know how to deal with stressful moments like this especially since I'm getting more anxiety or I've always been anxious but didn't really realize that that's what it was until now. I don't like the idea of talking with a psychiatrist. It makes me feel like a failure and that there is something really wrong... I dunno, I know it's ludicrous for me to think that, but I can't stop myself from thinking it. I don't even want to tell my husband about if I go, but I just want to get better. I don't know what else to do.
I recently started trying to get myself on track. I was working full-time getting caught up on bills and buying stuff that I needed for the house. Check... I'm in school working on my bachelors so I can finally get a professional high paying job. Check, check... and I made hella doctors appointments so that I can tend to my health. My doctor put me on Prozac, and the first dosage she gave me didn't do anything, so she doubled the dosage and I FELT it. I felt 100 times more confident, I woke up happy almost everyday and although I had insomnia before and after taking the medication, I kinda liked it because that's when I would really work on my schoolwork.
Well, I started confronting the notion of how to legitimately get better so that I can be like this without medication and I was trying to start by increasingly stepping outside of my comfort zone by doing new things, getting out the house a lot more and just having more fun with my family.
But then I hit a stumbling block. I refused to be a doormat, and just stood up for myself at work and got laid off out of vengeance. Now I'm struggling with how I'm going to get income and trying to fight the feelings that are more-strongly-than-before coming on during this period of unemployment. I just SURVIVED two periods of unemployment. The last of which lasted about 9 months. I refuse to go back to that. Yet, I feel myself... my mood lowering and my confidence diminishing and my good moods and moments of happiness come by fewer and fewer.
And the weird thing is... now that I'm on the medication, my sad moments are ten times sadder. So it's harder for me to shake.
I keep telling myself don't think about my problems and think about happy things, and it'll work for a little while, but then I can't muster the strength to do normal stuff like homework or looking for work or taking my son to the park.
I keep telling myself, "go for a walk", "go to the gym".... but I don't do it. I'm trying to fight this internal battle to stop me from locking some part of myself away without a key, but I don't know what to do.
I might just finally make the call to Kaiser to see a psychiatrist, cause I don't know how to deal with stressful moments like this especially since I'm getting more anxiety or I've always been anxious but didn't really realize that that's what it was until now. I don't like the idea of talking with a psychiatrist. It makes me feel like a failure and that there is something really wrong... I dunno, I know it's ludicrous for me to think that, but I can't stop myself from thinking it. I don't even want to tell my husband about if I go, but I just want to get better. I don't know what else to do.
I absolutely relate to your symptoms of depression and anxiety. I, too have lost jobs due to what I thought was standing up for myself so I understand. I do highly recommend you find a therapist you can connect with, that would help you out a lot. Also, surround yourself with supportive friends and/or family members, pets...I find that pets are extremely caring and sensitive to our human feelings. Speaking with a psychiatrist does not mean you are a failure at all, it means you have courage to give it a chance. Last but not least, in my personal experience reading the Bible and writing down prayers always helps uplift my mood. I hope you find this helpful and may God bless and heal you completely.
MENTAL ILLNESS IS A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE OF THE BRAIN.
GBU
D
;-O