Hi pdxkatz! First off, welcome! It is great that you are reaching out looking for support. I have found myself in similar positions many times (almost failed out of college and recently abruptly quit my own job). At times like this I think it is important to remember that you are not at fault. We do these things that may seem stupid and irresponsible to other people for reasons they will never understand. The world can seem like an insurmountable place when you have depression. You're in a tricky spot still living with your ex but I think the best thing you can do is focus on you. It's a cliche, I know, but it's true. Once she sees that you are improving everything will fall into place. And again, if depression sneaks up on you, it is not your fault and you deserve someone who understands that. Sometimes the people that love us the most have the hardest time understanding why we are acting in such a way. I want to commend you on starting a new job! That is great! I find that one of the most important things is to not let depression define your habits. My junior year of college I missed a week of school because of depression and got so far behind that I didn't ever want to go back. You get into a rut but I think it is really important to keep pushing forward. Joining this group is a great step, focusing on getting your life together, seeking professional help if need be. You are ok, you are doing fine. Life is hard and we are here for you. I hope this helps and I'm always open to talking more. This is a great safe space to get feedback and I hope this community helps you :)

Okay you're going to need to go to bed early, and set your alarm early. This is so that you wake, want to die for 1/2 hr or whatever, and then talk yourself into getting up and you're still in time to get up.

If you can't manage this, you need to go to the doctor or counselling service at your university. Don't wait. Don't dilly dally. You have problems but you also have deadlines. If you want your girlfriend and your life back you will have to do what it takes whether you believe in it or not. Otherwise it'll all disappear and you'll have to learn this lesson the hard way.

You can do this.

Welcome, welcome...great start!!
My advice is to set small, achievable goals....like, getting up and dressed in the morning. Then, small goals through out your day. Then, reward yourself daily for reaching these goals. Get some post it notes, write affirmations on them...like, "Your worth it!" or "You CAN do this!!" Or scripture affirmations,,,like "Matthew 28:20 (NKJV)
and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen." or "1 Kings 1:40 New Life Version (NLV)
40  They were playing music and were filled with joy. The earth shook with all the noise."

Or, even colored dots every where...reminders to think positive!!!

It's great to hear you are starting a new job! How was the first day? I definitely think support will be beneficial to you at this point in time. I'll pray for you. Also, if you ever need to talk hit me up.

Get some counselling and maybe look into meds. In a lot of cases like yours it can make all the difference.

I wish you well

Manda xx