Hello I am new to the site. I am going through the hardest thing I have ever had to go though and I try to explain to my family what’s it feels like and how it is in my head and in my heart. No one gets it and that’s because they have never been through this and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. This will be long but I have to get it off my mind and out there so maybe someone can help me and give me new ideas on how to deal with this. This is what’s going on my wife of 6 years is leaving me. We have two kids together and I don’t get to see them that much and that’s my fault. I want more then anything in the world for my family to get back together forever. I had a bad reaction to an antidepressant and called the doctors for help and told them I was having aggressive thoughts and they call the cops to do a welfare check and for some reason they told my wife I was having  homicidal thoughts about her and I have never said anything like that and never would. But because of that she left the state for 21 days and I didn’t see them and I didn’t get to talk to my kids that much. She told me that we would work on our marriage when she got back but I was to pushy and didn’t give her room to breathe or think so two days before she comes home she tells me that she is going to get her own place to live. I thought we would still work on us but the day she got back I was trying to see my kids and she told me she wanted a legal separation and it hit me like a freight train all I wanted to do was talk to her about it. The next few days were super hard. She wouldn’t talk to me she wouldn’t let me see my kids in 63 days I only got to see the 2.5 hours. She put a protection order against me. Then on November 4th she called and asked if we could talk and I said yes and we did things look like they would turn around then once again my fault I wasn’t taking my antidepressant like I should have and on the 12th I started to say good bye to everyone and they all got scared and she called the cops and I went to jail for two days the day I got out on the 14th I sat a Taco Bell for a while and it so happened to be really near a place she goes all the time well she came and then we talked and it was more like have a heated discussion. She found out I was there for a while and she called the cops and I went back to jail and sat there for a week. Since I have been out I went and talked to her and we put everything out there and then forgave each other. But the problem is she doesn’t act like it and it kills me I don’t know what is going on. Today she told me that we shouldn’t talk for a while so once again I feel like my heart got ripped out. Any help on how to deal with this would be great thanks