Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello friends I haven't been on in a while. I needed a break for a bit I hope that i didn't upset anyone with my absence. This is what i have been up to and i wouldn't mind some advice. I honestly didn't think I could love again but when I saw that I could I may of destroyed any chance of a future with her. Things went way to fast and I felt things way before I should. It's been 10 years almost 11 sense I have dated. I forgot that things take time to blossom. I forgot how to be a gentleman. She put a hold on things and told me that she couldn't handle the pace that our relationship was going. The last time I was around her she was so uncomfortable that she didn't even want to hold my hand. That was a drastic step back from where we were. I wont go in to detail but we did everything a couple usually does and now we are here. Here is where we should have started to begin with but like I said we went way to fast in the beginning. Did I screw this up when I found out that I could love again. She wants us to start completely over and just forget what has happened. I cant forget though. I don't want to be with anyone else and I would love a second chance but I don't know if it is worth trying because I didn't feel that connection we had at first. She says she still loves me and that there is something between us or she would have been gone a long time ago. She said that she doesn't love me near as much as I love her but she doesn't know exactly how she feels. I am already heart broken over this. I was just wondering if its possible for her to have feelings for me again or did my overbearing her prevent any thing from ever happening. I just know that I care deeply for her and I want things to work out.
I can say that I was in a relationship with a man who I knew had way more feelings for me than I had for him. We started off as friends and well things happened. I got pregnant. I loved him, but I knew I wasn't in love with him. However, because I was pregnant with his child I wanted to try to work it out. I thought that my love would maybe grow for him more over time. I was always upfront and honest with him with how I felt about him. Despite this he proposed to me, not once but three different times. I said no and after the first time I told him not to ask me again because I didn't want him to be hurt again with my answer. Despite some other people's opinions, I couldn't and didn't want to marry him. I take marriage very seriously and I knew that I wasn't in love with him. I wasn't going to settle, but even more so I wasn't going to spend my life with someone who deserved the same amount of love he felt for me. I made the right decision as things just weren't good with us as the yrs. went on. We were really great at being friends to each other. Beyond that wasn't great at all, but I would never regret anything as I have a beautiful daughter now who is my world.
You can't start things over and just forget what has happened. You could try because you want a different outcome, but it just doesn't work. At least I've never seen it work. I would suggest taking a step back to really think things over. If this doesn't work out for you, you did learn something. You learned that you can love again. Of course I know you don't want to lose this woman, but it's possible that she's just not "the one" for you. However thanks to her, you know you're open to love again after all of these yrs.
I Think It's Quite Possible To Start Over. I, Personally Have Needed Numerous "Second" Chances Throughout My Life.
I Met My Husband Back When I Was 16. (He Was 18) We Have Been Married For 32 Years. While We Were Dating I Can't Even Remember How Many Times We Called It Quits........................
I Even Threw My Engagement Ring At Him A Time Or Two.
If You Really Care For This Person, I Think You Should Absolutely Try Again. Let Her Set The Pace This Time.
She Loves You :) What A Great Starting Point :)
Good Luck !
You've gotten really good replies so far.. I'll just add a couple of things. I'm a little confused because some of what you said seems like you are contradicting yourself. First, like Lala said, you can't just go back and ' forget' anything that has happened or undo it. It happened.. Did you move too fast? Maybe so, but that can't be changed.
No you say at the end of the post that you want things to work out and you care deeply for her but earlier in the post you said "I don't want to be with anyone else and I would love a second chance but I don't know if it is worth trying because I didn't feel that connection we had at first". You said you don't know if it's worth trying because you didn't feel the connection you had at first?
Can you tell me more what you mean by that, I'm alittle confused.
Why are you heartbroken? She said she still loves you , right? Maybe not as much as she thinks you love her, but it sounds by what you say that she DOES want to try to make this work even if for her it means starting over. Are you willing to do that? Peppers had some great advice about doing some things together to have fun where you go back to that ' starting over' phase.. get to know each other better while taking things ' lighter'. If she's uncomfortable, then do what you can to make her feel more comfortable. Lighten the mood when you are together. I can't tell you what to do , no one can ofcourse. If you are willing to take things slow now and do things on her terms and STILL be happy in the relationship , then why not try it, right? the main thing I agree with, is you have learned that you CAN love again. I know you never thought you could. That, my sweet friend , no matter what happens with this girl is a BLESSING.
(((((((((((( big hugs )))))))))
LMT
You don't know me but I am glad to know that people are returning to this website. People are human, it is natural to want something so much and then go too fast I have done it and realized how unrealistic I was. I was/still heart sick but am willing to work on my self and be patient and assertive now that I have learned from my mistakes. It's okay we all have blunders in relationships you have to take care of yourself to take care of another individuals feelings as well. You sound like you have been through a lot and I commend you for posting on here to reach out for help. Sincerely Crystal